CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Messed up weekend...

I didn't skate Saturday because I was so anxious to get started on my golf cart build. I was super productive on it all day Saturday working in a friends garage.

Got up and had a short and lonely session Sunday morning, as Jon merely threatened to roadtrip this week and backed out on Saturday. Loser. And the Skids are on injured reserve. Kyle is MIA - is he back from visiting BonJovi's home state yet? I was the only 'Cretin, but the park was loading up fast. It was beautiful and warm. I got some good speed runs, deep end pipe runs, and even some decent mini runs before rushing home ready to do some quick shoppin' with the woman, and then off to tackle the cart again... but it was not to be... *Ring* aw shit... no way... My friend calls to say her garage got broken into, and all my tools were gone... MOTHER FUGGER! People suck! Luckily they didn't take or destroy any of the cart parts nor wheels. I guess that's something right? Gotta hope the Karma gods are paying attention. I'd love to hear about a beatdown of someone caught breaking into a car/garage/house here soon. But alas, as former pro skater Jason Lee has taught the world with the help of NBC, we don't get to decide when Karma does its thing. Dammit. And rarely are random acts of Karma as funny as they are with Earl.

Hope you thanked a soldier on Monday. If you didn't, do it today. Doesn't have to be a big deal, just thank them for volunteering to do a job you don't wanna do. A very important job.

Check out the other blog for cart progress and pics. Another project... as if I didn't have enough already... "Lamont, you big dummy!"

Until we skate again...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Time Off for Bad Behavior

It appears that the best treatment for rolling an ankle does not include running a 10 mile race, running a mini-marathon, riding a flowmaster, and skating relentlessly. I figured eventually it would callus up and I could go on my merry way. However, it has been a persistant nuisance and begging me to chill since I re-injured the Wednesday before the All Concretins Pillage Kyle's Ramp Session. I promised my ankle that if it would get me through said pillaging, I would give it a two week rest.

Yes, these are the best two weeks of the year, weather-wise. Yes, these two weeks contain a long weekend and offer additional skate opportunities. But, now that I have reached a certain level of maturity (a reference only to my bodily age - as I now injure more easily), I cannot ignore such promises. Anyways the hope is I can take two weeks off and get back on it hard instead of skating like a pansy for the rest of the summer (yes, I recognize the 'skating like a pansy' comment is an open invitation for ridicule - but, hey, like they say, 'Crete and Cope may break my bones, but words will never hurt me - unless those words are made out of 'crete and cope, I suppose). Sorry to miss it, but I will back strong in minimal time.

When I grow up I want to skate injury free.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

This Weekend

Thinkin bout headin down to the Ville this Sunday again. Need that crete. Who's skatin??

Sunday, May 21, 2006

What a F-in Weekend

Skidzilla's expression sums up the weekend vibe pretty well I think . . .
Mofo. Grabbin and slidin.
Nothing quite warms the heart like a kitty sleeping in a baby carriage next to an undersized fake naked baby.

Last Ride Party

Something strange happened yesterday. I met some friends at the downtown skatepark - where the Dew Free Flow tour was gearing up, with tons of rippage going down - and we had a great little session as well. OMP busted out his new wheels and ceramics, he seems happy with them shown by his speed and comfortable grinds everywhere. (We got some great footage - but why is that local news cameramen can NEVER watch for the rippers and film THEM for the 11:00 news footage of the event - nothing but crowds and bails. Stupid.)

That wasn't strange. We have been planning a "Last Ride" Party at Kyle's mini - before the rebuild. But somewhere between the skatepark, and Corydon, Indiana, we drove through a time warp and we were transported back to sometime in the early 90's. (It was easy to believe if you averted your eyes from my hairline and looked at Kyle's 80's hairband like style. Sorry man.) We sessioned the hell out of Kyle's mini ramp. We all immediately had good runs. As if we were young and just found a new perfectly built mini to thrash. (True - except for the young part.)

No amount of me trying to list tricks and triumphs can possibly convey the stoke of this ALL DAY session. How long has it been since you've skated ALL DAY? For 12 hours straight, my life was all about skating (even longer for other 'Cretins). "We" even built a launch ramp! (Perfect transition Kman!) If only we could keep Dave from droppin' trough. My camera is pissed for having witnessed that. We were so whipped after the launch sesh - and even said "just a couple more mini runs and I'm done." Well, that session didn't end for another hour and a half. The best session of the day, no doubt. Everyone has 5-0s now! OMP hit it on his 2nd try, and threw in 2 in the same run, just to say "What? That's hard for you?" Bastard.

Here are some pics that just barely skim the surface of our insane day. I'm sure Skidzilla could throw down some literary genius, so I'll let him entertain you with words... Your up Dave. Anyone? Anyone?

From Plywood to Playwood.

Waste not want not. Spare parts, spare time.

Mini Rippage

Work of a ConArtist

Blurry Concretins

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Your Sport Sucks

Ok, what the hell? How did I miss this? I had heard about Danny Way wanting to do an bomb drop into a mega quarter on David Letterman, but then he smashed up his ankle on the Great Wall launch. The idea seemed lost in oblivion. Then I see, after the fact, that he did the bomb drop in Vegas off the HardRockCafe guitar - much more appropriate me thinks. He's insane. Check for much footage (dial-up beware). THEN just a few weeks later, I see that Bob Burnquist has joined Mr. Way in the psych ward. The Brazil greenery must be some good shtuff! *inhale* "Ok, I got it. I'll build a 40' mega ramp at the Grand Canyon." *exhale*-pause-*inhale* "We'll put a 40' rainbow rail on it, and I'll 50-50 into a 1600' base jump!" *exhale* "DUDE! That's it!" Oh come on. You can't think that up without herbal help. I mean, it's so ridiculous it rocks! (Pedestrians can watch for this on Discovery Channel's Stunt Junkies.) And in my reading about all of this, I also read that Mr.Switch has landed the "corkscrew" apparently on a specially constructed ramp. Basically doing a loop, traveling across a ramp at the same time, but with a "gap" in the "top" of the loop, of course. Check out for more - Bob's finally updating his site regularly. Guess I need to see his film, The Reality of Bob Burnquist, huh? THEN I also see there was another MegaRamp comp in Mexico. Danny throws a backflip (!?) and Bob, being the contrary bastard that he is, throws a frontflip. Damn. I just don't get it. How is it that I can get so stoked on a 50-50 in a 6' snake run, when they're throwing flips, 360s, etc. over 50+ gaps, dropping in from 82' up, and grinding into freefall??? I love skating. Sorry, but your sport sucks.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mum's Day

Waking up to gray clouds wasn't encouraging, but it wasn't raining... YET. No one had really communicated definitive plans but Sunday morning is our standing "church" session. Driving in, the rain began, but only lil' drops. Of course they got bigger the closer I got to the park, and dammit if I didn't catch every single light between home and the park! A lone figure stood in the park. Kyle. If he drove from Corydon, to skate in the rain, then I was stayin'. The rain teased me at first saying "you've got time, go ahead, pad up." But my previous experiences said no. If I pad up, my run time will be eatin' by padding up. So I donned the lid and lead elbow and took a few runs. Then Skidzilla rolled up and chased the rain away! I then donned full gear, but not before I took a good hipper. Would have been worse if not for the lead elbow pad. And the rain scared everyone else away, so we had the entire park to ourselves. No romper room rugrats, no bikers, no squatters. "Party On Garth!"

Kyle was ON! I mean, I understand on his home ramp, but damn dude, give us something to hope for. Make a straining facial expression or something! Give us hope that with effort (not pure talent) we might someday stoke the fires of a rippin' session. It was cold, so I was bitchy, much to Kyles dismay. I got bit on the finger by a junk obstacle and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Normally, he who bleeds has the most fun, but it was Kyle's day. Mother's Day, of course. That explains it. Kyle's a Mother if ever saw one. I think I saw him bail 3 times, not including the wall ride attempts out of the bank. Dave is workin' the ollies and he'll be a street rat before we're done with him! Brett rolled in to share in the empty park, but just cruised. He still rips when he's cruisin'. Kyle and I were the last of the 4 'cretins to split, and it was rough. I mean it just seemed wrong to vacate and leave the park completely empty. What a waste! Hopefully some rippers showed up soon after to take advantage of the undisturbed 'crete.

We all agreed to hit SkateNite on Wednesday - to practice for a full on "RampLastRide,Grill,Chill&Skate, Roadtrips&Sessions Day 2" event next weekend. Saturday is the plan, but perhaps rain will push us to Sunday. Oh, and Sunday night I saw a post here, since removed, by Jon... a picture of an ugly purple ankle... Dammit Jon... what the hell?

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Full Trip Report

I must sum up the California trip with a question: How do people live in CA and find time to work? I skated 3 awesome parks in two days. I drove to 4 parks in less than half an hour and I passed two others along the way. How could you get up and go work in such an environment?

By far the coolest park was Washington Street. It was all done by volunteer work and had the best style. The fence around it had rebar welded into outline drawings of skulls, dragons, spider webs, etc. There is obvious continuous work on the aesthetics as there are many in-work skater/punk rock mosaics going in all over the walls of the park. The laborers were cool enough to build in dog water-bowls and a barbecue grill. The surface was not as teeth chattering as one might expect for volunteers, but most of the coping seemed to be made out of concrete parking pylons set sideways to resemble pool coping. The tranny was hard and I couldn’t carve a line at all. This park would take a few serious sessions to nail just a line in - much less any serious tricks. It was fun watching the locals, tho. Some sick shit was going down I don’t think we will ever see at the terrain we skate: Ollie to column ride comes to mind first.

The YMCA – THEEEE YMCA – I was told by Jon before I left. I didn’t think I would get to hit it, but I did and it was bad-ass. The vert ramp was so damn smooth – built by Team Pain. The guys skatin it were doing every trick I saw at the Tony Hawk Skate Park Tour in Louisville, and I doubt they were even sponsored. I stuck to the pools with the other old guy that showed up Cowboy Steve. (Realtor, but he runs an Old Guy Skate camp! Perchance there is Franchise Op?) We could nail these pools with minimal time input. Lots O’ Fun!

The Biggest surprise was the skatepark right next to the hotel on Coronado Island. I didn’t even have it on my list of parks to hit. They wanted $10 to ride, but they didn’t take credit cards (cash or checks only – Two things I don’t carry on business trips). He was cool and said he would give me a member day pass rate of $5. I had three singles and $1.27 in coins. I asked where the nearest ATM was and some kid sittin on the counter just handed me a buck! I hope his kind deed will be repaid exponentially, Karmicly speaking, cuz this was my favorite park and the best ride I had in Cali. The transitions were awesome on both the bowls. This would be a very fun park and could be wired in a few hours.

I know you’re jealous and I sure ain’t whining, but it definitely would have been more fun with you 'Cretins in tow. I skated in a most genteel manner as I didn’t feel like anybody would really have my back in case of accident. (Also, I was trying to imagine how I would explain NOT making to the meeting they paid for me to be out there for because I feel on a skateboard.) So many little time.

When I grow up I wanna skate like (and as often) as people in California

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Damn! California is cool!

We get ticketed - or even arrested - when we tag shit in KY. In California they pay Ed Templeton to paint creepy Transistor Sect Characters on walls at the boardwalk.

Another Flowrider

Vernon rocks

The Wave Still Flows

Nicole rocks

What Business Meeting?

The group event for the meeting was some faux surfing in the Flowrider at The Wavehouse. A successful ride lasted approximately 3 milliseconds. When you fall you get flushed out of the wave at about a zillion miles and hour. Real fun!

My wedding ring got ripped off in the turbulence, but thanks the Gods Smiling and the Good Fortune Smiling on Skidzilla I found it when they turned off the wave. Think of it: Honest, honey, I lost it on the flowrider, on a business trip, in California - why are you mad?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Multimedia message

I can walk here from my hotel room!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Multimedia message


Multimedia message

Kidney @ the y

Multimedia message

Wash street

Washington Street Welcome Committee

Bad picture of a scary Mike Meyers mask hanging on the fence entering the DIY park on Washington Street under the Coast Highway right by the San Diego Airport.

The park is much scarier than the mask and the skaters were even less friendly.

Derby Weekend

Spectators suck in general. Churchill Downs (and even the parking lots?) were completely trashed when it was over. How hard is it to throw your trash away? Losers and losers in fancy hats. Get the hell out now, thank you. OK. I'm done. (But you people still suck.)

Skated to work on Friday just to avoid driving all the way around the track to get back home. Easy trek and stopped at a friends house on the way home for Margaritas! Alice joined in later and Oaks Day was cool and uneventful. Derby day started with a good session with the BrosSkid, Gib, and Kyle. Mark and Brett even rolled in. Had a good session as the park was EMPTY! I love it when that happens. For some reason, (Tucson suckage) I've apparently gotten a bit fearful of the 'crete. So I need to hit the mini-ramp at CasaDeBFMFWMUALLA this week. I haven't been to skate nite in a few weeks. And the ramp as it is now has limited time left. It was great to see Steve back on urethane, even if he doesn't feel 100%. I don't think anyone had a killer session, but a good time was still had by all. I hit a good kickflip out of the bank. Caught it in the air, no balance check, perfect. Why can't I always do that? I did everything exactly the same as the 5 tries before that! But no injuries, no mega slams. And that's always a good day. The rest of my day was spent working in the yard with my woman. I always feel better afte a productive day. And winning the pool at work on the Derby favorite is always fun.

Sunday morning I went to church for a short session. I got to see everyone, but only skated with Buckeye Jon for a few, as he rolled in slow to avoid the state police welcome wagon. He brought gifts of his witness of Burnquist and Glifberg rippage at Ollies. INSANITY! Bob ain't afraid o' no 14' oververt! Jon risked multiple board-to-noggen possibilities to get some great footage! Well done. Dave needs to do some good deeds this week in SanDiego as I witnessed yet another glance of board to berries. Get some good Karma or start wearing a cup dude. Everyone was hitting good long runs. Mark was planning to patch the big hole in the full pipe. He needs to send the Mayor the bill!

Went to pick up the new ride - golf cart. It BARELY fit on the trailer. Not a centimeter to spare. The cart is MUCH slower than I had hoped, and now I'm debating whether to deal with it or spend even more to upgrade the motor... dammit. Can nothing be simple? Well, no. 5 miles down the highway we had a blow out on the trailer. No damage, but even though we knew it was a possibility, it was LOUD and scared the bejeezus outta me(read:skidmark!). A GREAT Samaritan stopped and helped with the tire change. (If he hadn't, it would have been an all day affair, as I didn't have the proper tool for trailer lugs, and the spare was flat!) Thanks again dude from Minnesota! The cart is now resting in the backyard patiently waiting for new shoes and perhaps some new muscle. And the trailer is waiting for new tires... I had enough projects dammit.

So how was YOUR Derby weekend? Looking forward to seeing mobile posts from Skidzilla of some SanDiego 'crete!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Good Fortune Smiles on Skidzilla

Mobile Skidzilla: The photo was posted with my phone, and I promise to post a couple from the road (hopefully with more visible features - this one was just a test).

I got a last minute trip to Nirvana - I'm headin' to San Diego on Monday. I get in about 12PM and I'm headin' straight to a park. I might only get one day of skatin' in, so, I'm trying to hit a couple. The YMCA seems the get the best cred for the pool, but the Y is closed on Mon/Tues - not sure I'll get there. It looks like Memorial and Washington Street are on the Monday agenda. Wish we were all goin' cuz, as Nick always says, it's more fun skatin with you guys.

Pray I don't get eaten, beaten, or maimed by the locals - or the 'crete for that matter!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Justice Must Prevail

Kyle is talking overly serious about rebuilding his ramp - which means we need to plan a No Bullshit, Balls to the Wall Concretins Skate Session complete with grill, cameras, and camaraderie to administer last rites! Obviously, it is up to Kyle, but I feel it is mandatory to get Gimpy and OMP in on the action for a full day o' festivities. I'll drive, I'll pack a cooler, and bring a dish. But, it cannot pass without at least one full force Concretin Skate Session on it! Justice Must Prevail!

This Weekend

Alright, if the weather cooperates this weekend I am on my way down to Louisville skateboard heaven once again. Is everybody going to church this Sunday?? I ended up hitting the Powell, OH park last Sunday and got a good 3 hours in before the sky started pissing. I also managed a $129.00 speeding violation. Good thing I had a blast, cuz that was one expensive session. That pool is SO much fun. Did some more park scouting for the as yet undated OH Crete Creep roadtrip as well.

Oh shit, this is Derby weekend isn't it? Is it best to stay away or what??