CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dew Tour Gnar Photos

AndyMac - frontside rodeo huckin' thing

PLG - Nose blunt or optical illusion?

Congrats! 1st and 2nd!

Chris Miller - He skates better than you.

What's that smell?

Gnar, gnar, and not.

Dane - padless madness

Varial in your face

B I G transfer

F A S T p l a n t

Beginning the hip transfer line

Pokin' a frontside - watch yer hat

Cretins - TonyMag bummin' on the fence

Tryin' to capture gnar on film

The fastest skating I've ever seen here!! Walter is the Big Kahuna.

Can you do this? Not as fast as Walter.

Monday, June 26, 2006

KILLIN' it in DaVille

Dew Tour Day 4

It can't get any better than Day 3 right? WRONG!

We had another mega session downtown. Carla didn't join JOn and I, but Mofo and Skidzilla did, with KidCretins in tow. It was fun to watch them cruise around on the long board tandem skydiver style, but REALLY funny watching Jon freak out and chase after them when they bombed the sidewalk hill! Go Jon Go! (no children were harmed during this experience) We all had great runs and Kyle SAID the concrete felt weird after riding his home ramp so much, but it didn't show. He even brought out NewRampGnar with a big half cab ollie 360 rock thing... it was cool and dialed. Mofo.

So being the freak that I am I insist on leaving in PLENTY of time to get to the tour early so we can get those front row VIP seats. It was SO cool walking in while civilians were waiting for them to officially open the venue. But the hilarious part was the dude snappin' a pic of us as if we were someone important but he wasn't sure who-better get a pic just in case. I guess the Concretins really are famous! Sorry dude, just some old dudes who are old enough to know better.

We get our seats - and get shuffled in and out of them several times for "Panasonic VIPs." Woo hoo... damn corporate sponsors... JUST KIDDING! We got moved 3 seats over... STILL way better seats than the Mayor had! (though he only showed for 5 minutes to present a trophy). He's obviously not into action sports, BUT let's hope he's listening when we say DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE TO BRING BACK THE TOUR EVERY YEAR, and while you're at it, PLEASE get us some shade at the park. We're cookin' out there man! (Dave Duncan also commented that they hope to bring the tour back here next year, as this year was SOOO much better than last.) Well done Louisville.

We watch some serious tricks and mega crashes during the BMX finals. DMC came charging off the side at Mach3, and I think he actually tried to peg grind the sponsor sign, but I can't be sure. He was ok. The scariest bail included a bike landing upright across a dudes face on the flat. I just knew he just took a crank to the face, but he didn't as his face had just enough room between the ramp and the bike. Had to be a frightful view though. Jon is right, these guys deserve respect. They put their bodies on the line.

Flyin' High!

Kagy X'n it up!

Then it was time for the MAIN EVENT! Skate Vert Finals! Kyle played it cool, but I think he agreed that it was super cool that "Bucky Lasek is RIGHT THERE." I warned him and Jon both that I would likely annoy them with my enthusiasm, hope I didn't, but I probably did. Sorry guys, but given this weekend, it isn't likely to change anytime soon. Steve-O rolled in civilian style with the all elusive Leah. She does exist! 'Twas a pleasure to meet you! Hope you make more appearances with the Concretins in the future!

She does exist!

We watched the pros throw down in practice for over an hour. We would have thought you wouldn't see any better skating than that already. But we were wrong. VERY wrong. Tas skated angry and took a slam that knocked him out of a shoe. Actually he took a couple heavy slams, but when he was on, he was skying! PLG was super tech, but didn't seem to be having fun either. Same for Dufour and Furlong, but Furlong had the burliest madonna that always ended with a gigantic POW on the tail... simply awesome. Newcomer Jean Postec was putting on a kickflip class, but he too seemed like he was at work, not play. Everyone else, even when they had problems and frustrations, got back up and the next trick they landed, the fun was back on their faces. Lincoln landed just about everything in practice, but bailed on both of his runs, but he always had a smile on his face. Lorifice, Ringstrom, and Hendrix all had full runs and landed everything they had planned to-I can't list everything, it was crazy I tell you. Check the DewTour site. As much fun as it was to watch, and unbelievable, it wasn't enough... HUH? That's because Bucky, Bob, and Andy are so far out of sane, that the rest of us are just a tiny spec on the shores of sanity. Andy's always tech but scientifically precise run FINALLY got recognition, when it looked like he struggled with it!! He ALMOST missed several grabs and sketched on several landings, but he pulled everything!! The crowd, all too often silent, went nuts. Bucky put the pressure on himself to make a killer 2nd run and absolutely killed it! His channel gap tailslide actually was a bit of a grind, but no worries. And by leaving out the "flick" he stayed on and completed his run.

Don't skate angry!

Furlong - Gnar ON!

Hendrix - East coast ripper! Full run.

But Bob's first run finally got the switch recognition he has deserved for SO many years. Switch roll in, switch ollies and airs, stale 540, eggplant revert on the extension, switch kickflip fakie on the roll-in, and some funky grind revert, just could not be beat. Suprisingly it was clear to the audience, but more importantly to the judges. Bob takes home the Louisville Slugger from the Panasonic Open, engraved with the words Skateboard Vert Champion.

F I N A L L Y ! Congratulations Bob!!

We hang around for a long time for the award presentation, so I can congratulate Bucky and Bob, again, and finally get the Lil'Bucky and Lil'Bob photos. Thanks for being such gracious athletes and inspirations to so many. Mofo and Jon, simply stood back and laughed at me, but of course they took the opportunity to get an autograph when we had to pass Bob on the way out... that makes me smile.

So... Dew Tour over... skate life insanity done... WRONG AGAIN! In the hall, Jon confirmed that Chris Miller (!) and Tony Mag were "probably gonna check it out," meaning the park... We head out and I am floating I'm so stoked. Mofo ditches us at my house to go watch his friends band jam nearby. He calls us and says they haven't even shown up yet, so we bail on him and head immediately to the park... Sorry Jason, we'll get a chance to see you play again soon I'm sure. We arrive, actually pretty quick compared to what I imagine the pros could do... so we skate. We stick around the deep end as that is where the pros would likely play, and it wasn't as stupid crowded there... After about a 20 minute wear out session, up walks Miller, and Macdonald! It was ON! TonyMag had joined them, but with a bum arm, he wasn't gonna skate. He was visibly bummed as he walked around the park and commented on how fun it looked. I hope the ladies kept him company and didn't annoy him. He even commented on the GhettoGrip camera handle. Yea, I was stoked.

I talked to a 17 year old kid working as a consultant and writer for AOL and their new sports web. How crazy is that? 17 years old... bugger! And someone even asked about the Concretin shirts!! Yep, we really ARE famous! Well, we should be at least a little famous considering all the blog cards I gave out over the course of the event!! :) To those of you reading this with said cards, THANK YOU! Drop us an email or a comment, and check back for weekly updates on the adventures of the 'Cretins. (And don't worry, updates usually aren't this lengthy...)

Miller and MacDonald padded up and unpacked their Gnar, then unleashed it on the 'crete. Chris had to "figure it out" first, but with smokin' grinds and super speed in his first few runs, he seemed pretty comfortable already. I tried to get some good footage, but found myself in the way all too often. I apologized profusely to them as I almost got my hat taken off by a frontside air out of the pipe... I watched their lines and finally figured out where I could move into and out of position to let 'em skate without worry. (I don't think they were worried, but I was.) They were so cool to everyone in the crowd, and graciously signed autographs when the groms got up the nerve to ask, which 1 always lead to 10(8 of which were NOT groms)... but everyone seemed to understand they were there to skate and would only come up every 20 minutes or so. Miller is insane with control and flow. He absolutely killed the pipe near 11:00, multiple times, frontside and backside, and then aired out for the fun of it. He missed the big frontside 9' to 11' hip transfer, so Andy chased him into it and he crossed at least 6 feet more than he did last year, and stuck it! Paul, our doubles run has a LONG way to go...

Hey Chris! What time is it?

He's blending in, but believe me... he's there!

As the pros rested, I decided I needed to show that I was a fan, but I knew how to skate too. DumbAss... I actually CAN do a deepend line, but for some reason I did a manual at 9:00 in the pipe, tried to stay on, and ended up taking a shoulder slam in the bottom of the pipe. If I hadn't been wearing a helmet, lights out. The only cool thing is that it's ON TAPE! Wow... OW... I'm still extremely sore from it, but my head isn't aching like I thought it would. I sat down for a few minutes, and then demonstrated that I CAN in fact skate without stupidity and even threw in a rock-n-roll for good measure. Then I showed that I'm smart and de-padded. I obviously can't handle the Miller and Macdonald gnar remnants left on the 'crete...

Do your part to save the lame... learn CPR. Thank you.

Having rested maybe 10 minutes, Andy needed a challenge. Apparently, skating since 3:00, and winning 3rd place wasn't enough. So he started working on a line to hit the waterfall hips... 4 times in a single run... 11' to 9' hip, hip to 4', hip to 9', wall, hip to 4', hip back far enough to go into the 11'... W H A T ! ! ! Yea, he has gnar. When competing with seriously gifted mortals, 3rd place is certainly fair, considering it is obvious Andy is a MACHINE! As the light went away (there were some bulbs out on the stadium lighting, so the cam footage was getting progressively worse) I finally decided to just sit back and watch and enjoy. It's hard sometimes, because I want to share that joy, but if you weren't there, I just can't. No amount of footage will convey the energy and excitement. I can only hope this super skating transfered to tape half as well as it transferred to the 'crete.

Frontside slidin' and rockin'! Leave some gnar for the rest of us! We need it!

It was fun to watch and I cannot thank them enough for allowing me and so many civilians to invade their session. Everyone else will have to wait for the next LT video... coming in November? Perhaps...

*dream sequence - end scene*

STILL DEW'n it in DaVille

Dew Tour Day 3

Day 2 was pretty damn cool. But Day 3 stepped it up! Our Buckeye 'Cretin Jon rolled in E A R L Y for a downtown park session with everyone but OMP - just had to go camping didn't ya? OH WELL, sucks for you! We met Carla who is in town from VT workin' for the tour. Very cool chick and she invites us up for a New England park tour. We were all having a great session - it really is true, the more you skate, the better your next session will be. I was feeling confident and decided if I never try 50-50s in the bowl, I'll never learn them... So I attempt one and lock one in on the first try! But, it being 8ft to the flat as opposed to 4', I wig out and step off... but I know I can do it now... (Of course everyone was playing in the deep end and saw nothing...) I get Dave to watch as he was the inspiration for the attempt, as he just learned them a few weeks ago and do the feeble grind bail... hate those... but on my 4th try I lock in a short grind and then drop in perfect!! HOLY CRAP! I know pedestrians don't care, I know most skaters don't care... but man that has been tough to learn and not be afraid of (wait, it is still scary)... Progression. It was cool at 18, but it's SO MUCH cooler over 30. I think all 'Cretins will agree.

That session was enough to make for a good day, but of course Jon and I still had pros to hang out with... ok, just watch, but still... We get there in plenty of time to see practice for the skate vert prelims, and with our VIP passes from Tom, our seats are RIGHT behind the pros!! "Dude, Shaun White is RIGHT THERE..." just 4 feet away. Front row center at the ramp... INSANE! We have that same revelation about 20 more times with other pros like Bucky, Bob, Andy, Mathias... ALL of them! I just can't believe it. Tom, you rock! (My camera batteries die, and I apparently brought dead spares... and Tom stopped on his way in and got me more batteries!! Very generous and I owe him much thanks. I do believe he understand that he gave passes to someone who REALLY appreciates them.)

We watch the prelim runs and the skating is C R A Z Y! Switch boneless, super high airs and 540s(frontside, backside, pick a grab), no handed kickflips (ON VERT? What?), rodeos, I think every heelflip and/or kickflip variation that has been done so far, a samba flip, channel gap lip slides and blunts galore... and watching it all RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU is just so incredible. The contest concludes and afterwards I hang around like a little grom fan to wait and to talk two of the biggest inspirations in my life, Bucky and Bob. I congratulate them on making the finals and give them the newest LT video, and a Concretin t-shirt for the hell of it. I always try to be brief and not hold them up or be that weird psycho fan, but if you listen to the other 'Cretins, it's too late, I've crossed over to the dark side. I can only hope the pros don't feel that way, and they do SEEM to like my "Creative Fan Appreciation." I imagine it's at least amusing. "Aw crap, it's that weird Lil'Tony dude again. Smile and nod and he'll go away soon." :)

We head outside, hook up with the Tom's and watch some more craziness at FMX. More insane pics, including one just before Twitch ejected at around 35 feet up. Get well soon Twitch. There isn't much I can say about these guys... The pictures say it all. They're not insane. Yea, RIGHT!


Kickin' Air!

Yep, he pulled it!

No big deal? YOU TRY IT PUNK!

This is gonna hurt... Get well soon Twitch!

The SkateParkFinals were up next and they all were just so good. Sheckler was on target and almost looked bored, but you could tell he was amped when he landed that last trick of his run. During the JamSession "finals," it was hard to watch a trick because you knew you were missing a big trick by someone else. And the traffic was stupid! It's hard enough to make a kickflip out of bank alone. But imagine a tre-flip over a 6' euro gap, with 8 other people trying a hard trick only 3 or 4 feet away, all the while everyone is moving at Mach2!! Ryan, 16, and Nyjah, 11, were the clear contenders and I couldn't believe the two youngest guys held up under that jam session better than anyone. Not that everyone else wasn't ripping too though. It was just really hard to watch sometimes. Ryan had 2 or 3 fewer bailed trick attempts than Nyjah and pulled off the win(again). Congrats Sheckler! But props go to Nyjah as he was around for 45 minutes longer than anyone else afterwards signing autographs, while the park was being dissassembled! I was stoked to get a mention from mic master Dave Duncan with my "Animal Chin, He is Here He is Proud" sign. Thanks Dave!

Yep, he pulled it.

Makin' it look easy.

Have you seen him? I have.

Double D! Daggers Represent!

Jon and I hung out a bit longer to watch a bit o' BMX dirt jumping... those guys are insane too, in case you didn't know. (I think it's required to be on the Dew Tour.) Tailwhip Backflip... what? No Handed Front Flip... Double Tailwhip 360... Huh? I mean, come on, you have to make an 8' gap just to drop into the course! No thanks, I'll keep my 4 urethane wheels. We see Carla there in the VIP tent and invite her to another morning sesh on Sunday.

Droppin' in with no parachute!

That closes ANOTHER great day in my skate life. And my skate life is only made better by a woman in my home life that not only enjoys watching me go crazy with it, she does it without hesitation, without a bit of resistance! Alice, I love you. THANK YOU!

Friday, June 23, 2006

DEW'n it some more in DaVille

Dew Tour Day 2

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I am SO hyped!!

First, lemme say I'm such a light weight. Good Lord, 3 beers and I am floatin'! Tom hooked me up twice, since I spent $20 bucks on a hat. AND he hooked up the Concretins with 2 VIP passes. You Da Man Tom! Next major skate purchase comes from your shop across the big creak in Corydon!

Skidzilla, Kidzilla, and I started off the evening cruising the Village and watched a bit o' the FMX prelims. Got some GREAT shots. SOO much better than the background of empty bleachers last year! I definitely hope to get more pics like this tomorrow.

Scorpion in the sky!

Look Ma! No hands!


We went inside to check out the skate vert practice, just before the rain. Good call. Tom joined us to watch Gentry go SKYING, Mathias was on blunt variation duty and Andy Mac was as tech as ever. Man, I could sit there all day and watch them all "practice." They were goin' off! Bucky looked like he felt bad or something. He'd hit 2 walls and just bail. Hope he's alright. It was hard to remember to take pics of practice so I could enjoy just watching the actual contest tomorrow and Sunday. We got kicked outta skate practice(what??) so we went to watch the bikers. They were just as insane on the park course. Gotta throw out props to the woman who helped Tom and I get 2 beers each (limit of 1) when we went on the beer run and Skid&Kid grabbed us some VIP seats. What a stupid policy! No beer runs at KEC, you ALL have to stand in line for a beverage. At least they weren't $7, but $4.50 still ain't cheap.

Skid & Kid eventually bolted and Tom and I hung out to wait for another Tom to arrive and then watch the finals of BMX park. So we're sittin' outside chillin' when Mike Metzger walks by! (the "Godfather of FMX" for the pedestrians reading) HOLY SH*T! He's super cool and let's us get some pics. He laughs as Tom reminds him about an OLD mountain bike vid (Chain Smokin). Thanks Metz! Congrats on that killer Caesar's fountain jump!

This shot pays for my beer, but I still owe you Tom!

Metz - These dudes are weird! HA! Thanks Metz!

We hang around and watch the bikers go off during the finals - gotta remember to record that tonight. 360 double tail whips, flair transfers, and monster tail whips over the mega step up... we were screamin' and clappin' alot!

The Toms and I part ways as they are gonna hang out for Hoobastank. I call the woman to pick me up and beat feet off the premises... BUT IT AIN'T OVER YET!

I'm headed in that direction anyway, so I stop by a hotel, just to see if Hendrix is staying there again this year... he is... killer... I write him a note and leave it at the front desk with the CD of pics I took last year (that I promised his Dad I would send, but lost his business card). Hope he gets it. As I'm writing, in walks Kenny Bartram! I try to finish up quick, in time to get a photo, and then Deegan shows! Mulisha in da howse! I'm stoked!

Mulisha, Concretin, Cowboy. Kickass! Thanks guys!

As I'm leavin' I walk by Gentry and get another "LT hater" pic. Hilarious! Chris was very cool and seemed to appreciate that I remember the "Kingdom Skateboards" days...

Yer gonna crack a tooth Chris!

So all I need now is to talk to Bob and/or Bucky... and my weekend will be complete... gotta get 'em the Lil' Tony DVD and Concretins T-shirt. But gettin' some face time on NBC for the Concretins will be cool too. Shouldn't be too hard with VIP seating, and some cool signs that I know the skaters will appreciate.

Get yer Gnar on boys! The Game is ON!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

DEW'n it in DaVille!

Dew Tour Panasonic Open - Day 1

A pretty cool day. Worth the 5 bucks for parking, especially since I had won tickets already. Had 4, and all the other Concretins had better things to do I guess, so I went alone... with LT of course. I gave the tix to a family of three, saved 'em a McDs dinner worth of cash. The village was set up pretty cool, but of course no one watches where they're going or where they're stopping... And it's only Thursday... Saturday and Sunday are going to be insanely packed... But we'll be there... Lots of booth babes for gazing made it worth dealing with the crowd. :)

Cutie at the Hawk booth

Jammin' at the SlimJim booth with DJQ of B96

OK - The skate "park" prelims were great. Sheckler is crazy good. I saw him practice one or two tricks between runs, then he stomped his entire first run. And Senn was super fast and kept trying this huge reverse transfer (bank to quarter that was 3 feet lower)... He definitely brought his gnar along this weekend.

Ryan going big. Hey, he can drive now!

The most powerful skating I witnessed. Chris Senn

Afterwards I milled about and heard Gentry on the DewTour mic. He was hypin' up his ProRidersOrganization. So I jumped in line to meet some pros - PLG, Tas, Buster, Mathias, Jake B., and Mayer. Not everyone was cool with takin' a LT photo, and PLG is obviously not a Tony fan, but he was still cool to see the fun and take a hilarious pic. I was stoked that Buster knows who LT is! He'll be stoked if he sees the footage in the LT DVD I have for Bucky and Bob... Buster and Chris Miller ripped up the deep end downtown last year. I still can't remember the old vid I have with Danny in it... is it "Lick" by H-Street? Anyway.. they were all cool and sat there signing autographs for every last person waiting in line. I gave them all Concretin cards in hopes they'll check the blog. Thanks guys! Good luck in the comp this weekend! Hope to skate with you downtown sometime this weekend! Drop us an email and let us know! (Hint: skating butt early usually means less people at the park...)

Don't be a hater PLG!

Buster and LT hammin' it up

Oh and the NiceSkateShoes "trailer" DVD from Buster is KILLER! Pretty long for a trailer. In it there is so much 'crete skating! Perfect for us. I've seen alot of those parks on's vids. And Buster's kickflip to 5-0 over the channel at Bob's is just sick. Thanks Buster!

To steal Skidzilla's tag line...
When I grow up, I wanna get paid to skate.