CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Friday, November 09, 2012

Life is grand. Skateboarding is stoopit.

Wow. Bones Brigade changed my life. No lie. And I think the documentary just did it again. Just. Wow. And to know I get to celebrate this weekend with so many individuals... who get it. Who understand. Damn. I am so not worthy.

I don't believe I could have watched Bones Brigade: An Autobiography at a more perfect time in my life. I hadn't skated in over a month before a session just last night, with 2 Cretins I hadn't skated with in over 6 months, at a ramp I hadn't skated in almost a year... And it restored my stoke. Then tonight, I watched the story of the Bones Brigade... my skate heroes from my youth, and still to this day... and I am so ridiculously infatuated with skateboarding again. 

And I'm about to turn 40. 40! EVERYONE younger than 40 knows that's crazy old. Want to know what's more insane? I've been skating for 25 of those years. 25! I truly suck for having skated THAT long, but it's not about that. I love it. It's FUN. It's 'stoopit.' And it's up to ME, every time. 

So to watch those heroes tell the stories, of MY memories of watching THEM skate... it makes my brain itch in the most fantastic way. My mind has not raced like this, about THIS, in years. To watch those stories, on the precipice of completing my 40th trip around the Sun... about to spend a weekend celebrating with Concretins, Kooks, and skaters whom I know no other way except through skating... How do I explain that? I don't think I can, to a pedestrian. 

And to a skater, I know I don't have to.

THANK YOU. Cretins, Kooks, Locals, my college skate friends, Nathan, Eric, Mike, Kyle... Thank you Stacy Peralta, George Powell, Tony Hawk, Steve Caballero, Mike McGill, Lance Mountain, Rodney Mullen, Tommy Guerro, Ray Barbee, Steve Saiz, Eric Koston, Ray Underhill, Matt Hensley, Bucky Lasek, Bob Burnquist, Danny Way, Colin McKay, Christian Hosoi, and countless other pros... 

Skateboarding changed(is changing) my life. True story. 

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Woulda Been Funnier Way Back When

Sometimes being a lazy-ass just don't pay. Here I got some primo footage on my Motorola Razor (back when it was just a dumb phone - nothin fancy like the revamp of it today) of The Gibster on a mountain top in Idaho when he was a wee lad of 7. I even got him to rub it in that we was snowboarding long after the season *snicker* ended in Indiana *chortle*. Anyway, it woulda been funnier had I bothered but I didn't. So, while it may not be as funny, I thought it was still worth a post. Especially since most (both) of you readin this are probably hiding from the insane heat happenin in most of the country.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Continued Good News... Sorta...

We WILL indeed lose SOME of the park with the reconfiguration of Spaghetti Junction downtown. Most notably, the deep end, including the full-pipe. While I do not frequent this end of the park myself, I sincerely hope it is included in the rebuild, as it is one of the few skatepark full-pipes in the country and is an icon of the Louisville park.

From the Courier-Journal, written by Sheldon Shafer (with a quote from TheProfessor even):

A section of the Louisville Extreme Park will be leveled and rebuilt out of the way of a highway ramp that will skirt the park as part of the reconstruction of Spaghetti Junction.
The popular skate park will not have to be closed to accommodate the Spaghetti Junction project, said Metro Parks Director Mike Heitz. Some of the skating facilities and the restrooms will be razed to make way for a new ramp leading to eastbound Interstate 64 in the redesigned complex series of roads and ramps.
A series of bowls and a pipe system designed for the most experienced users will be removed from the northwest part of the park and rebuilt in a grassy area at the northeast corner near Clay and Witherspoon streets.
A land survey is planned to affirm that the skating facilities can be rebuilt there, Heitz said. The west side of the skate park will be demolished only after the replacement facilities are completed.
Highway officials recently redesigned the Ohio River Bridges Project, which includes two new bridges and a revamp of Spaghetti Junction, to leave the huge interchange largely in place, rather than shifting it south. The changes are expected to shave more than $1 billion from the project’s cost.
The original project design called for a new ramp to pass over, and near the center of, the 1.85-acre skate park that opened in 2002. Although highway officials said they would try to avoid sinking pillars into the skating surface, there was no guarantee on how much of the skate park would remain usable, officials said.
Under the new Spaghetti Junction design, the ramp to I-64 will pass along the west side of the park, leaving about three-quarters of the park untouched, including facilities designed for beginner and intermediate skateboarders and bicyclists.
Mayor Greg Fischer said in an interview Friday that he is pleased that a compromise will allow the park to remain open. “Although a portion of the Extreme Park will be impacted, our team is working to ensure that when it’s rebuilt, it will continue to be a world-class facility.”
Jason Gainous, a University of Louisville associate professor of political science and a frequent skateboard user of the park, said the skateboarding community “is extremely pleased that the park will not be shut down as a result of the bridges project.”
“While we will miss the section of the park that has to be torn out for the new Spaghetti Junction, we are thrilled that the bridges budget will include monies to rebuild (the skate park).” Gainous said he is confident that the Extreme Park will remain on “the cutting edge of skate parks around the world.”
Gainous heads a group that helps maintain the skate park under the city’s Adopt-a-Park program.
Heitz said skate park users will have an opportunity to consult with parks officials and engineers on the design of the replacement bowls and ramps.
Skateboarder Pat Kagi said he considers the park “a very special place, perhaps unlike any other in the whole world. It would be ridiculous if they did have to close it. To some people, the park is therapy. To take it away would be a big deal.”
John Sacksteder, the project manager for the bridges project’s engineering consultants who has been working on ways to minimize the impact of the Spaghetti Junction work on the skate park, didn’t return phone calls Friday.
Heitz said the cost to raze the western side of the Extreme Park and to develop the replacement facilities will come from the Ohio River Bridges Project budget. He declined to estimate the cost. He said the replacement facilities could be completed by late next year or early 2014.
Sacksteder recently speculated that work in and around the skate park would occur around 2015.

Time is short, and there is absolutely NO guarantee of anything when dealing with city and state officials. While I am optimistic and hopeful, I also know that on a whim, they could decide to destroy the whole thing. Because they can. So get your skate on Cretins. 

Friday, June 22, 2012

Gimpy Gittinonwivit!

Jon "Don't call me BonJovi" Burgess, better known as "TheGimp" (hey, he chose the name "Gimpin' ain't easy") has been hittin' Centerville, Ohio for the weekly Old Man Jam. Peter Furnee snapped a killer shot of him bein' lazy and layin' one back in the bowl. (Even the "shallow" is vert folks!)

Damn. I can't skeet none. (Click it for a larger view.)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day Roll

Junior, Brett and myself had the park to ourselves, and we were havin' a great session. Then Cretin Adam rolled up, and OldKook Mike rolls up from Richmond, KY... and then, this redneck rolls up in a bright yellow Jeep... that's right, OLD MAN PAUL! Haven't skated with that MelonFarmer in over a year. Was great to see everyone. We all cleaned up the deep end and actually hit the pipe a few times. Been about a year or so for that too for me.

Ruby joined Junior and was rippin' the flats all over the park. Her high fives to Daddy after his runs were simply awesome. She was ridin' switch alot too. Luckily she hasn't quite picked up her Daddy's mongo foot yet. There is hope.

I was feelin' a bit loose and froggy. Like I had a bit o' pop & spring in my kicks, so I set up the barrier and proceeded to beat the crap outta myself. Here's the last few minutes of about 20 minutes of attempts.

Told ya it was a good session. If you missed it, you blew it. Happy Father's Day!

Thursday, June 07, 2012

R.I.P. Ward Cramer

It is with shock and a heavy heart that I tell you we have lost a friend. Ward Cramer fell ill with walking pneumonia and was taken from us within days.

I'm sorry we didn't get to skate with you more often. But every session, several of them documented HERE, was a blast. Thanks for the stoke Sir. Rip In Peace.

Frontside Rock with STYLE. Ward has 'em.

A video from CharacterSkateboards. (Thanks to Adam for the tip.)

And another from the Cretin Vault.

Monday, May 28, 2012


Those who could make it, came out to play in the near 100 degree Louisville, KY heat and bid a fond farewell to a great friend, David Skidmore.  Dave and family will be moving on to much greener skate pastures, that being the Portland Oregon area!  Rock ON.  It would take much time to go into all the greatness (flatulence not excluded) that is the Skidz. Let's just say he will (flatulence excluded) truly be missed by many, to put it lightly. So speaking of light,  grab a lighter, drop some trou, and light one up for the Great One:

The Skidz!

JR! Always charging the surf at high speed. 

Seth with some 70s style edger madness!


Although not tuck-knee, far from stinky. 

If you hang around with Dave, you are bound to absorb some rather unpleasant molecules. 

Meanwhile, over at the vert ramp, Mofo and The Professor get the session going before the frying pan gets to full sizzle.

Mofo taking the plunge.

The Professor getting down on his pride and joy. 

The Professor will love these pictures of himself. He is a very vain man. Just ask him. 

That's a damn fine invert. 

As Skidz will attest.

We took a break and got some lunch, served by Steve, everyone's favorite meat handler. 

Nick, calculating. How many hot dogs over the years...?

The guys who tell fart jokes, and the people who love them. Amazing. 

More fart jokes than all the rest put together = Head Fart Joker.

The day was a time of reflection, of how we all, for the most part, met each other at this very skatepark over the years. Like the time Nick and Steve first met:  Steve to Nick: "Hey, I have that same tattoo on my ass." Well, close enough anyway. 

I was making camera setting adjustments and pointing it in this direction, snapping pictures without paying attention to what was actually going on out there. Dave and I were totally amazed, and laughed maniacally, when we discovered this one later at his house (I'm laughing right now actually)...

Philly, after the fact, no worse for wear. 

Back to the heat! Seth with this transfer to fs 50/50 hit. 

Nick with the BSA on some beloved Shipyard wood. 

Mind yo manners!

Nick and El David discuss trickonometry.

Gathering those that hadn't yet fled the heat for the obligatory group shot.

Obligatory Group Shot. 

One more for the road. We love you brother Skidz! Have a safe trip to the Northwest. See you in Portland!