CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Need to Skate!!!

Just want to put it out there that I am down for an Ollie's sesh this weekend or ANY and EVERY weekend this winter. Full Cretin crew (preferably) or not. Word to your MelonFarming Mothers . . .

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happy Birthdays

Happy B-day to Nikoli & Patricia

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mind your manners! or Things I learned in Phoenix.

I learned the hard way not to knee slide when not wearing knee pads. (dumbass)

I learned that a hooker will call you out if you let one fly.

I learned that even an old guy like me can win a game of SKATE.

I learned that you'll smack your nuts if you do a naked backflip into a pool.

I learned that it is indeed a small world and Gimpy met Dreadlox long before I found the OldManArmy.

I learned that you should ask the waitress to wash her hands before she makes your lunch.

I learned that it hurts just as much when you can't skate. Especially when the session is going off (every session was going off).

I learned to let go and let others control the schedule of the day. (I did fairly well considering my well known neurosis. Though being sick made it easier.)

I learned that I CAN do a rock-n-roll on pool coping. Who knew?!

I learned that if you have reason to believe you should be afraid to fart... trust your instincts.

And I learned about Gimpy... sometimes that guy just stinks!

I learned that the OldManArmy community is indeed badass. They are friendly, they are generous, and they can skate like melon farmers*. I actually already knew this, but it was reaffirmed in person. (*mthr fkrs)

And I learned that as a Dad, the best thing about going on a trip, is coming home to my family.

And now you're gonna have to learn patience and just wait 'til I and/or Gimpy get time to post up more pics and vids. (See below for some teaser shots from Gimpy.)

38 ! ! ! ! !

Ok, so here are a few shots from an amAZing trip:

There are certainly more where these gems came from so stay tuned . . .

Hey, I Got a Good One for Ya...

Why was Bunker Hill slippery?

The British were coming!

If you missed the 3rd Annual OMA BBQ in Phoenix, you missed hours of laughter over that joke. Yes, THAT very joke. I know - and you know - that joke is NOT funny. But, in AZ that joke was hilarious! That's how much fun was flowin' - everything was funny! And everything was fun!

You also missed in depth discussions about the difference between a KY booger and and AZ booger. I think all agreed that the KY variety, complete with crusty tip and the occasional comet tail that streams out from its hiding place behind your eyeball, is much more satisfactory than the small dry flakes produced by the dust in AZ.

You missed dinner at the Pink Taco. Which, despite what the implications of the name, is substantially different than a Box Lunch at the Y.

You missed a daily 6:45am reverie from Jon's Butt Trumpet.

You missed the gaseous outrageousness that coined the new slogan "Concretins Stink!"

You missed the true definition of 'Hella Pukin,' a relatively new skate term that refers to effects of someone getting sick air, but in AZ meant that Nik was streamin from both ends. Fortunately, it only affected one day of skatin'.

You missed rockin out to Sir Mix-a-lot, Criss Cross, Public Enemy, Vanilla Ice, LL Cool J, and a host of others on the Old School Hip Hop Radio Station.

You missed being treated like a Concretin!

Oh, and you missed some killa skatin, but somebody else with have to tell you about that - I didn't snap a single pic.

I took these when I got home, tho' - the perfect example of the aforementioned 'crusty-tip-with-comet-tail-from-behind-the-eyeball' - this one complete with blood! In between the windows, no less! Ah, The Joys of Child Rearing!

Sunday, November 02, 2008


Woo hoo!! Yes, I'm glad that the ridiculous political ads will soon cease, but the election actually has squat to do with my November stoke. It is time... time to celebrate another full circuit around the sun for this Scorpio, 36 total trips and still truckin'... and even more importantly, it's time to celebrate this thing called skateboarding. You may ask..."Don't you do that every week with a session at the skatepark or one of the many private ramps at your disposal?" YES. But skating is only properly celebrated on a roadtrip. And even though that roadtrip may involve a plane, the destination is key... Phoenix, Arizona baby. Land of Scorpions, home of the Old Man Army, and location of acres of kickass 'crete.

You ready? No, you're not.



Union Hills



Goodyear (poached from

Got Gnar? Not enough, but I'm goin' anyway!