CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Monday, October 29, 2007

Faith and Confessions of a Fanboy...

So there I was, in a Northern Kentucky town at one of the best indoor parks( not quite a regular, but certainly a good patron. But I'm standing in the same room as the entire Birdhouse team, including the founder, Mr. Hawk, Kevin Staab, Jean Postec, Brian Sumner, and Willy Santos, all pros who I've seen crazy skate footage, or witnessed first hand rippage in the past. Other pros included, Sean Eaton, Jon Dickson, Matt Ball, Steve Nesser and Alan Young. I apologize if I'm forgetting anyone. They were ripping the street course, but no offense guys, I don't follow street, because I simply can't do it anymore. It's no less impressive what they do, but also, I couldn't really see 'em from my vantage point on the vert ramp. Oh, did I not mention that? Yea, Bob (Ollie's owner) let me on the ramp to film, as long as I left him my tapes. (I'll get the master's back, no worries.) A fair trade indeed.

So there I was, on the vert ramp, as Tony steps up and drops in. Gimpy is chillin' on the stairs shootin' the low angle. Even the simplest backside airs, so high he could smack your forehead with a tail stall, were amazing to watch. Jean busted out kickflip indys without hesitation, but never quite hit the kickflip to fakie on the over vert. Gnarly to even try. Tony took a couple of fakie rolls on it, and then rock fakied it... yea, and the 6' rock fakie scares the chit outta me still. Kevin Staab, the "old guy" rep, was crazy! The biggest BS airs, and sickest BS ollies the whole time. Tony threw out the McTwist as well, but not before 13 year old Morgan Burgess did! Morgan had struggled with the kickflip indy all day really, so when he landed one while skating with the pros, he was so stoked he tossed the McTwist (perfectly) in the same run. That kid's got skills for days.

Let's see, what else? A scary, but still landed Triples run with Tony, Jean, and Kevin, though Jean bailed the next wall after the cross over. I kinda wished I was watching THEM, even though it was insane to watch through the cam viewer. Oh, while he called it a "struggle" later, 5 tries to land a Pensacola 900 (a 720), was kickass. I can only hope I framed the make on film, because I DID watch him land that one, footage be damned. (I was "working" for Bob afterall right? Earning my spot huddled in the corner of the ramp, with the best view of the entire vert demo. Hoping for a chance to get in for an autograph and brief conversation with the man.)

I did not need to fret at all. Bob had set me up right, that it seemed I was almost expected to be where the pros were. Apparently I had composed my stoke enough to not be THAT crazy fan guy... I did relatively well, but when things calmed down, I certainly tried to relax, took a deep breath, and approached Tony with the Concretins video(s), and asked for a photo with his namesake ACTION FIGURE (shuddup bitches). He was gracious and I believe sincere when he said that he didn't mind. I apologized for being such an fanboy, and then retreated to the self-imposed 6'+ distance from the pros and tried not to let the jitters take over and make me physically jump around the room, but by the smile on others faces in the room, it must have been clearly written on my face. Do I really need to explain to you how stoked I STILL am, nor how stoked I shall remain? I didn't think so. (check out and for other pics from the event)
- LT meets his maker.

- Tony's stoked to get his pic with a Concretin of course.

- LT got a new ride from Kevin Staab, and "big" Tony got copies of our DVD.

- Gimpy was stoked too. No doubt.

Fame is only important and relevant in relation to the company you keep. Unfortunately, I don't get to hang out with Tony. But the skaters I do hang out with are famous enough for me. I feel the stoke of skating at every session with them. And though while I know I'm a bit of a dork with my "creative fan appreciation," I know that they understand. But if ever, I get that 15 minutes, I'll use the notes I've taken watching Tony deal with his fame. If you didn't know it was him, you'd still enjoy hanging out with that guy. And I hope my friends are standing next to me, or perhaps at least taking the picture! (Thanks Gimpy!)

I sincerely don't care who reads this blog, or who knows that I am a Tony Hawk fan, not that I could hide it. Why I should I? I see punks with football/basketball jerseys who don't know jack about a full court press and couldn't run a cross pattern if it were painted on the field. "Attention whore." That was Jon's musing. That's not entirely accurate. What, maybe 30 people total will read this and most will think, "Whatta doofus." Does anyone really want that kind of attention? THIS is what's important. I believe, that when I handed Tony copies of a silly skate video, of me and my friends having fun skating, that at some point in the future, he is going to watch it. That he will appreciate the stoke that went into it, not for his approval or amusement, but for US. Will I ever know that he did? Nope. And that's ok. That's FAITH my friend. My wife mentions it on occasion. BonJovi wrote a song about it. Need a more realistic example? I don't have rock-n-rolls in the 11'... yet. Keep the Faith my brother.

Hawk Fan Since 1987. 20 years well spent. Life is good.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Be there.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I'm not going, I'm going, I'm not going, I'm going...

I'm not going :( It's official. I canceled my reservation today with disappointment and chagrin. The job offer that I was hoping for fell through (that's another story for another campfire, kiddos) and I'm left wondering what's next for the job hunt. Fellas, take care and have fun without me.

On a lighter note... Junior, eh? So it's official? Welcome aboard, my man :D

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Hog Blog - More pics from sunday

Corporate Pig skates off a few Bud Lights from the night before
Travio cruising on a beautiful sunday morning

OMP, this one is for your wife. Maybe she'll put it up in her office.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Things you need to know...

Well, not really. Al & I spent all day Saturday in "baby classes." I didn't need to know the position a baby exits the vagina. Seriously. I didn't even need to see the computer animation of said travel. Thank goodness I didn't have to witness actual footage. Even for my own offspring, there are things that I NEVER need to see, there are certain "places," if you will, that are holy and sacred. Let's keep 'em that way. It was amusing to discover that EVERY pregnant woman has about 20 pillows on her bed. (Alice had 10 before pregnancy.)

The annual NoShow Halloween Bash was next up Saturday evening. Good times and good friends. Mr. and Mrs. NoShow and family put alot of work into the decorations and snackin's. (The mini cheesecakes kickass Julie!) And again, thanks to (insert unseen powerful being of spiritual faith) that Skidzilla actually wore pants this time. And rumors of Wades demise were proven to be exaggerations. It was good to see ya man! Thanks for the party Eric. Looking forward to the Halloween bash growing each year.
An Oompa Loompa and Violet. Their love, it was forbidden.

NoShow and Jack

Dammit Dave, not in the kitchen.

Mmmm. Pinwheels. Good Chit.

A Clown, Corporate Pig, and 2 Rednecks walk into a bar...

Sunday Sunday Sunday
Alice went to her church, I went to mine. An equal amount of praying was done at both. I got several good runs in right away early before the sun peaked over the lip. Josh, Skidzilla, MoFo, Travio, OMP, Brett, and NoShow all showed up just after sunrise. And very few others. The park was full of old dudes with pads. Skidzilla was workin' on rock-n-rolls in the 6', along with serious marathon runs. He just keeps skating. (I'm still not running dammit.) OMP was ready to rip for his once a month visit. Big airs, high speed grinds and slashers galore. Josh was hitting sliders to fakie from the 6' to the 4'. I was just having an all around good fun smooth session. With all the guys there, I felt I had the support to finally make the rock in the 11'. It took about 6 tries, and I finally made it, for a split second. The wrist guard and elbow pad saved me from shattering my wrist and elbow as I over rotated my body just a tiny bit, throwing myself to the flat, fast and hard. I could hear the pain in Dave's "YEAAAHhhh... Ooohhh" shout, along with excrutiating pain my arm. Luckily, no serious damage, though my thumb is STILL a bit numb, which does make me nervous. The nausea subsided and I took one more deep end run to aleviate any lingering fear of it. But I will leave the 11' rock-n-rolls until AFTER the Arizona trip. Even on the good days.

All in all, yet another great weekend. Life... is... GREAT!

Friday, October 19, 2007

But, Is It Art?

Presumption is a funny thing. Funny because usually it is wrong. I presumed the Pedestrian Duo Offices, because it is located way downtown on Main Street, would be some wreck of a warehouse, loft-style office for a couple of people (duo, right?). Since, the Suite Number was 201, I planned on climbing some dark, stinky stairwell to the 2nd Floor. And, based on the fact, that the Decked Out Skateboard Art Show will be held in a small coffee house on Market Street, I figured I would walk into the aforementioned loft-style office, drop off my project with a skinny, tattooed, facial-haired hipster who might, just possibly, be sporting a beret. We'd talk about the show, waste a few minutes yucking it up and generally being supportive of each other's endeavors, etc. Finally, I'd clamber back down the stairwell to the car and head off to hit the 'crete at the near-by Extreme Park.

This scene played in my head often as I approached completion of my project.

However, as you might have surmised by the introductory statements, none of that happened.

123 Main Street is newly renovated downtown building with new millennium amenities and designs. The security guard at the front door with card-swipe entrance let me know this is not a junky downtown warehouse space. After I pushed my way thu the gate and set off the alarm, he stopped talking on his cell and asked me if I was heading to someplace indecipherable and pointed to the office on the left. The sign on the door had nothing to do with The Pedestrian Duo or Coffee, so I assumed he was mistaken. I interrupted his call again and he confirmed I wanted to go thru those doors - on the first floor!. "Surely, he is wrong," I thought to myself.

I opened the glass double doors and let myself into the enormous new millennium warehouse, loft-style office with a cube farm for about 50 people. I was met by a very professional-looking receptionist. At this point I'm still pretty sure I'm in the wrong place. "This is a bit bigger than I pictured for The Pedestrian Duo."
"This is where they work for their day job," she said smiling. "You can just leave it here on the desk, I'll call one of them to pick it up."
"You sure? It is really big." I said. She still couldn't see my art because she sat behind a podium style desk with a counter surface about 18 inches higher than her work area.
She said, "It'll be fine. I'll call 'em. They'll be right up to get it."
"Okay." I said. I sat down a 38" penis - complete with helmet testicles - on the desk, turned and walked away laughing.

I had a good solo session at the park, too. But, that's a different story.

BTW: My Artwork is officially titled, "The All-Too-Obvious Metaphor: Skateboarding is Sex." (Yes those are real condoms.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

It's about time...

The city is going to clean up the graffiti at the skatepark. BF Deal! Shall I tell you how I really feel? Ok, here it goes... (This is in response to the newpaper article on the front page of today's newspaper, because I doubt they'll publish such a long letter to the editor.)

Surprise, there's a bunch of graffiti at the skatepark. That's what happens when you let it continue for months. The "artist" see that nothing is being done, so it continues. I'm not saying graffiti needs to be cleaned up every week, but leaving so much for so long isn't a good idea. And I use the term "artist" VERY loosely, because if you've seen the work, you can tell it's all done by no talent hacks and lame taggers who don't skate or ride bikes. They simply couldn't, because I'm sure their pants are hanging at their knees.

The city is going to close the park for a week to clean it up. Because that's how slow the city workers work. Come by some weekend morning and see how the clean up crew works. They do a great job of air sweeping the pedestrian areas, and emptying the trash cans. That's it. The trash left IN the skatepark, remains. Until the skaters (usually the older ones) take it to a trash can. The debris in the bowls, which sometimes includes glass is removed, but never by the city workers. Skaters clean it out. (Derby Festival weeks not included. The city workers do a nice job then. Can't let the world see how little we care about the park now can we?)

I'm glad the police are driving by on a regular basis, but there's a reason most of the vandalism is in the "deep end." You cannot see this area from the street. You can't even see this area from most of the interior of the park. I do not blame the police for the delinquents actions, but they shouldn't try to tell me they are doing everything they can. An officer driving by a seemingly empty park does nothing. Absolutely nothing. Even if it's crowded, a drive by does nada. An officer(or two, or three) actually IN a crowded park, on a Friday or Saturday night, now THAT is something I'd like to see regularly.

Did you know there ARE video cameras partially installed at the park? But the installation was never completed. Why? That's an excellent question. I remember a news conference with Mayor Armstrong touting the ability of park users (and parents) being able to go online to see the goings on. I remember thinking how great it would be to see how crowded, or wet, the park was before I ventured downtown for a session. I don't see how a camera witnessing a crime invites any additional liablity as a police officer witnessing it. Though, I probably shouldn't say that, because now there's a reason to stop the patrols. If you want us to police ourselves, be prepared for this skater to get his conceal and carry permit. Again, not a good idea.

People need to stop complaining about "their" tax dollars being used for maintenance. I don't use playgrounds, baseball diamonds, basketball or tennis courts provided in virtually every public park in Louisville, but I know that people do. I don't get to determine where my percentage of tax dollars goes, neither do you. Deal with it. Shut up and vote. Moving on.

Maintenance of any park is essential. If the feelings of the community are hurt because of the money spent to remove the graffiti, then leave it, and spend the money on more important maintenance, such as the chips in the concrete in the pipe. Non-skaters have no idea how dangerous this truly is. Currently, the city has left it up to the users to patch these holes, as they have done on at least 3 different occasions over the past 4 years. Also, there was apparently $45,000 expected to be spent on shade structures. The clean up costs $10,000, so that leaves another $35,000, but I'm willing to bet that will not be spent or even earmarked for the skatepark any longer. We'll not discuss the hundreds of thousands initially approved for Phase II, that was quickly dispersed among other parts of the community a few years ago. We are still waiting for that thank you note.

So, AGAIN, I commend Mayor Armstrong and Wormhoudt, Inc. for providing a stellar facility. But I give no thanks to Mayor Jerry or most of the citizens of MetroLouisville. I feel the pedestrians that backed the park, only did it so the skaters would (hopefully) stop coming to their street. Complain about the clean up all you want. The park will close in several years anyway, never to return I suspect. When the pedestrians have a more important reason... new highway construction. Until then, I'll see you at the park every weekend.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Hear ye, hear ye!

You have been cordially invited to the new castle of Julie and NoShow Brinley for their Sixth Annual Halloween party, the "Dragons, Dungeons, and Damsels Ball".

Festivities begin at 7 o'clock on Saturday, October 20th at 604 Hatler Court. A small feast of red and white chili will be served, along with finger foods and treats. Spirits and ales will be provided. Lords, Ladies, and Concretins of all ages are welcome!

Costumes are required, but need not be medieval themed. The castle will open its haunted dungeon to provide a fright for all who enter. The Electric Chair will be returning after taking a year-long hiatus to provide a liquifying shock to all who dare.

Battle Wizard Brinley, the elegant Queen Julie, Sir the Dragonslayer, and the Blood Princess Kelsey hope to see you there.

Halloween 2007

Sunday, October 07, 2007

What's Next? Bring it.

As I prepare for a harsh work week, followed by a lengthy roadtrip to a wedding, followed by weeks of baby classes, Halloween parties, skate Demos, an epic skatetrip to Arizona, AND a complete bathroom demo&rebuild, I can only hope that each endeavor goes as well as my Sunday morning skate session.

I arrived JUST before the sun peeked over the horizon and was able to get a few speed runs in sans sunglasses which included perfect 50-50s right away. The capsule also allowed me to hit my mini lip tricks quickly and comfortably. Even the accidental 270 to nose pick... though it would've been cooler had I brought it back in. Good friends showed up and began ripping with equal ferocity. If MoFo had just one ounce more of energy, he would have made the kickflip over the mini barrier. He actually landed one, but wheel bite tossed him off. Wheel bite also tossed me off a melon over said barrier. Though I finally made an ugly one. He apparently "wasted" his energy on switch whatevers, tons of grinds, and buttery smooth and quiet slides in the capsule.

OMP was in all weekend. He now has 50-50s in the deep8 virtually on lockdown. Smooth and fast around the corner, and BS airs 1 - 2 feet out of the "mellow" bowl, GNAR! He ripped on Saturday morning, went back for more in the evening, and then he, Skidz, and I loaded our heads full of images of backyard gnar with a screening of "Fruit of the Vine." A less polished version of "Chlorine" describing the California backyard pool skating scene. Still a great flick. 'Twas a double feature that closed with Thrasher's "Shotgun" which had some sick skating, and seriously scary skull cracking slams. I don't feel as much like a wuss after seeing Skidzilla wince as much as I at the slams. There is a reason I don't street skate anymore. I went home and tried to dream about pool skating while blocking out the slams. I think it worked, because we all woke and proceeded to shred. I think I'm gonna watch a weeks worth of videos before the Phoenix trip.

Skidzilla indeed threw down THE run of the Sunday session. It was the length of 3 normal runs, and as if all 3 were his best runs. FS/BS 5-0s, FS/BS slashers, pivots, FS/BS grinds, pivot to tail, rinse, repeat, twice. GNAR!

With all the rippage being thrown by everyone, it was a great skate weekend. Even if the 11' rock-n-roll is still evading me, and OMP and I never did get to cruise any hills. I certainly don't want to leave anyone out or imply that others were not rippin'. (I'm simply tired and there are plenty of other witnesses with blog rights that could post up their take on the weekend...) I got to skate with just about everyone at some point. Additional Saturday shredders included Travio, Tony, Bill, Brett, and NoShow. Sunday included NoShow (again!), Josh and Gibster returned to the park to face his faceplant... Though until hitting the brakes is intuitive, he's chillin' on the hill bombing. Wise choice indeed.

Thanks again skaters. Life is good. I'm ready for the week(s) ahead. See ya on Wednesday night for another dose of KickLifeInTheAss.