CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Monday, July 30, 2007

Guess who's coming to dinner...

What a great weekend. I bailed on the Saturday morning session, because it was looking kinda moist and I didn't feel like sweeping and drying the park for everyone else... let 'em do it themselves for once. Mostly because I knew I was gonna work my butt off... on THIS...

That's gonna be a fun ramp. And all us helpful 'Cretins will have full access... Nice. Oh, and just FYI: Don't ride on an ATV with the Nikoli... he's got an inner ear problem or something.

Tony and MoFo were alone on Sunday morning, because the rest of us were savin' our gnar to share with Roadtrippin' Diva, Calamity Jean. But my gnar was not nearly enough to deal patiently with all the crotch droppings with zero park ettiquette. I was there for over 2 hours and probably took 7 or 8 runs... grrr... Nor was it enough to make the rock-n-roll in the BIG bowl, but at least I'm tryin' now. I blame Gimpy and his touch grinds, and OMP and his slashers on that end. Skidzilla put on a pivot clinic for me in the shallows, and was only 2 inches away from frontside grindage in the 11'. CJ wasn't bothered by Skidz marathon runs, 'cuz she's got 'em too. Just when ya think she's tuckered and gonna pull out, she draws another line back into the deep. Frontside airs in the 11' will remove any doubt that this girl's got gnar! Her younglings had no problems with the shallows either. MoFo came to meet us, and gave us grief for bailing on the morning session. Ok, we deserved it I guess. And yet again, NoShow surprised us by showing up, though boardless. He brought his new bride and blamed the board free visit on her... bad idea... hope his couch is comfy. We concluded the session with a refreshing frolic through the water park on the waterfront. WeeZillas Gibby and Anya also proved good company for the traveling girls, though Lil' Tony has a few new bruises. :)

CJ, Jada, and Sadie crashed at Casa de 'Zilla and then hit the park again Monday morning, but Skidz will have to post up the highlights, as I was unable to attend... work sucks sometimes. (Does it ever NOT suck?) Here's a few highlights from the Sunday session.

Safe travels Jean! Can't wait to skate with you again in November!! Look out Phoenix. The 'Cretins are coming!

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The First in a Series

There’s been a happy-go-lucky smirk plastered on NoShow’s face since I met him. It’s more pronounced of late. It’s no real surprise to me that on July 14, he was committed to an institution. It appears the beaming is due to illness; the man is Lovesick. The Institution of Marriage is his only treatment option. He and Julie tied the knot on Bastille Day (French Independence Day, Nimrod – Vive Le Frogs!). Congrats to the both of ‘em! I’m sure he is in capable hands and will get the treatment he needs.

NoShow first made his appearance at our beloved Louisville Extreme Park as Eric Brinley. He’s a co-worker of fellow Concretin, Travio. A few broken commitments to join us on road trips earned him several profane monikers. However, his George Jones antics continued with such frequency the crime went from heinous to humorous. Eventually, Gimpy offered up the permanent term of endearment (and least offensive of nicknames) we use for him: NoShow. Strangely, and with no knowledge of the declaration, the very next e-mail we received from Eric cancelling yet another commitment he signed it ‘NoShow.’ Ant mentality? Cosmic Continuity? Severe affliction of Concretinism, is my guess.

NoShow is a TechnoWeinie by day; grinding out code in his very own veal-fattening pen for a local division of CNet so we can all get our daily infofix from cyberland. By night he is a family man and Ar-teest. Check out his work at Toast on Market and/or Better yet, hire him to deconstruct your disagreeable countenance into a work of art even your grudge-bearing mother-in-law will be proud to display.

Like The Skidzilla, No Show is late skater. He picked up the board after his thirtieth birthday and quickly got the bug. So, perhaps, part of the reason for the perpetual smirk is blissful stupidity – he is clearly old enough to know better. But, the man can carve it like a Christmas Turkey and he’s only been at it for just over a year. For that, and his non-stop grin, he gets big props in my book.

He’s a blast to hang and skate with –look for him at the weekend morning sessions. Just don’t expect to actually see him. He is NoShow after all. His e-mail from yesterday sums it up best:

‘Count me in. And by "count me in", I actually mean "I'll tell you I'll
be there but then won't and won't call either, bastards." :)


The KEWS and The AYES - Know Your Concretin

The mandatory stuff:
Full Name – Rev. Eric Justin Brinley, Esq. (AKA NoShow)
Hails from Louisville, KY
Years on the planet – 33
Years in The Ville – 33 (minus some time in Lexington and Dallas)
Years Skating – 14 months

Some just for fun
Wilma or Betty?
Totally Betty. Grrrl next door? Yowza! Besides, she had pupils. Wilma was just freaky. And a dead lay (at least that’s what I’ve heard).

Fave skate moment
Peanut bowl in Dry Ridge. I was hitting it hard and I had a crowd of Concretins lining the pool cheering me on. I felt like a war hero coming home. I was almost expecting tickertape. Sniff!

Wastes of time other than skateboarding
I paint, I play computer games, and I am a goalkeeper for two indoor teams at Mockingbird and River City. The weird thing is that the contact points of injury for soccer and skating are pretty much identical. It makes for some nasty elbows and knees. Oh well!

Worst skate injury
Rolling my foot and ankle in the full pipe last summer when I (thought) I was hopping off my board. Turned out I wasn’t. I was on crutches for two weeks.

Who’s yer honey?
Julie is my sweetie… always will be!

What’s your schtick?
Live and let live. Just don’t mess with me or mine.

The family affair
Wifey, check. Two awesome kids, check. Two kooky cats, check. One dog, 40% Jack Russell, 40% Australian Shepherd, 20% Pit Bull, 100% Loyal, check.

The perils of being me
I seem to have a healthy dash of luck – not good or bad luck, mind you – just luck. It makes for an interesting life (and hopefully some really good campfire stories for the grandkids).

When I grow up…
I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys’r’Us Kid!

Glazed or Sprinkles
Glazed, Sprinkled, if it’s from Krispy Kreme it’s getting’ in my belly!

Shout out to
Gotta give a shout-out to my kids, Lusy and Will.I.Am. They are the best!

Why I started skating
Funny story really… Travio went on a half-day snowboarding trip with me. “I skate so I should be able to snowboard,” was his reasoning. He strapped on and, even with my best instruction, maybe made it down the hill twice over the course of the next few hours. My repayment to him was to hit the Louisville park in the Spring. Who knew that I’d fall in love with it?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Weekend Sessions

Damn, would someone else post up a session recap next time... mine are getting lame and redundant. (Or is it our skating? Nah, it's probably just me.)

Saturday was a pretty good session with NoShow, Trav, Tony, me and Ward. Andrew rolled up on two wheels... we hope it's just a phase. HA! Ward was methodical in his attack of the deep end, one trick at a time, but perfect everytime. Long 50-50s in the 11' and a rock-n-roll too (yes, I was taking notes). We were pushing the deepend and fighting the shadows because we went so early. But we were all speeding pretty well, and Tony is bustin' grinds in the shallows now, even with the bum knee.
- Tony and his John Travolta impression.

- Ward rocks! My mangina won't allow me to do these.

Sunday was a better session, mo' people and mo' rippage, and a bit later so the shadows weren't as crazy. Skidzilla joined us, Phil, and OMP rolled in again! Travio is super stoked on Tony's wood. He couldn't stop talking about how much he liked riding Tony's wood. I'll admit, it WAS nice looking. FivePoints made him a good concave and a killer shape. Trav has probably ordered one for himself by now. A custom deck for $40? Killer. Serious pipe rippage ensued. I FINALLY got a decent grind in the 8', and a couple of good 50-50s with speed in the flow area. I struggled with the melon launch and NEVER made it. I was bummed, and OMP was even attempting with me. Oh well. Maybe next time.
- Travio continues to conquer frontside gayness. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

It was just a fun session to even just watch. MoFo was his standard ripping self. He was "taking it easy" and didn't even pad up. Nice hip airs are becoming standards. And I don't know how he does it, because I haven't even talked to Skidz in awhile, but damn, he just keeps going and going... he's throwin' FS and BS touch 5-0 grinds all over the place and all with effortless speed. Oh, and he's starting to get the fs pivot to tail every session, at least once. It's in his bag now. Mr. NoShow is not only showing, but he's bringin' the speed. He won't be stopped. He really held on to a few squirelly runs, and surprised even himself with a big fakie in the 11'.

You should just be there and stop readin' about it... If you want to skate with pros, move to California, but if you want to have fun, come skate with us. And if you want literary genius, you'll just have to wait 'til Skidzilla posts up. (No pressure Skid.)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Coming Soon

A Blurb from Skidzilla and 10 questions answered by a member of your favorite 'Over 30 Gang.'

Posts are planned for mid-week. NoShow will be first. Check it on (or around) Wednesday of this week!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Welcome to Paradise

"You gonna skate, or you gonna take pictures?" This is my greeting as I whip out my RAZR to snap a few shots of this legendary park. The guy asking is a wiry fucker with one eye. The gouge that took out his eye looked fresh - not yesterday fresh, but maybe within a year - and like it was done with a Do-It-Yourself Cyclops Kit. The burr haircut makes him additionally menacing. He looks at my beloved Concretin shirt and says, "Kentucky? Yer a long way from home!"

Recently emptied Hamms Tall Boys float around the outer edges. A 12 pack of Busch shows up shortly after I do. Someone offers some encouragement by screaming "get some Fat-Boy!" to the husky skater that is killing the place. A bottle crashes into the middle of the main bowl. A dog with a squealing kind of bark yelps and chases anyone who drops into the 6 foot. Somebody shouts something I can't comprehend and half the shredders scatter, climb a wall and disappear. The concrete looks pitted - like it will rattle the teeth right out of your head. The whole park is painted and the dust blowing around makes me know it's slick as snot. This is Burnside - the historic DIY park from the early 90s. Welcome to Hell.

Looks can be deceiving. It's a fun party here. The skaters are nice. They encourage me to get my board out of the car and skate. "Fat-Boy" is, in fact, a genuine term of endearment for one of the long-time regulars. The bottle is clearly an accident and cleaned up almost instantly. The dog is ultimately more humorous than harmful. The mass exodus is due to some towing and/or ticketing in the pay lot next door. I drop in and float across this buttery surface, hit the vert wall and cruise back. I can feel the local pride oozing from the regulars for this home-made thing of beauty. This is Burnside. Welcome to Paradise.

So Sayeth Skidzilla

Skidzilla's Weekend Memory

I only got to skate on Saturday. But here's a bit of prose surrounding the event:

“Don’t Skate Angry!” Nikoli screams at me as I pass him. It’s a recurring statement I hear of late. I must be scowling. I’m in the snake run – what’s to be angry about? I’m on the concrete. I’m skating. I’m in the sunshine and hanging with my bros. I’ve got my mind off of life’s woes and on this stupid wooden plank.

Although, I can’t say my mind is on skating. Mostly it is on not falling. “Don’t fall when you carve this six foot wall,’ my mind says. ‘Don’t fall,’ it says as I flirt with the coping – backside or frontside. “Don’t fall,’ it says as I feebly attempt yet another 50-50 in the 8 foot bowl. “Don’t fall,’ it says as I pull a backside transfer over the hip maybe just a little higher than my capabilities should allow. ‘What the fuck are you thinking?!’ It screams as I peer over the 11’ to drop in by the full pipe. I drop anyway. I know it’s not the fall that kills you; it is the sudden stop at the bottom. All I gotta do is stay on. It’s that simple.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

Weekend Update!

Friday: I'm lame and lazy, so I bailed on the Violent Femmes concert with Gimp and MoFo. They said it was a great show. And their short session at the park proved to be too much of a biker dodge... so they bugged out.

- I am Gimp Almighty. Your pipe doesn't scare me.

Saturday: Gimpy had an itch for pipework. (Shuddup Skidzilla. Nah, go ahead.) So the session was a serious deep end thrashing. Gimpy focused on speed and lines for grinds. Travio and I worked on defeating frontside gayness (shuddup), I was less than successful. It's still scary. But I did get a good stale grab. A damn fun session. Thanks Gimpy for pushing me to really hit the grinds, made the work a bit more fun and the frustration more tolerable. We also met another John, who just moved to DaVille from St. Louis to bring us better beer at BBC. Gotta love that right? Well, we welcomed him to the park by forbidding him to ever come there again without his board. Hope to see ya next weekend John! (pics by Nik and Gimp - there's a few more in the Photobucket DaVillePics folder)
- Travio standing up for Frontside Rights.

- Travio farted in my general direction.

- Skidzilla ain't skeered neither. I think this is my fav pic o' the session.

- Me, grabbin' a fuzzy stalefish. (Isn't that lesbian drink?)

-Gimp can fly.

- No, really, he can.

Later we visited NoShows party joint, Toast on Market, for the reception to his hitchin'. Congrats! I'll let (make) him post up about the whole ending the single life celebration. Best wishes to you and yours amigo! (I thought the cake pic below came out purdy kewl.)
- CONGRATS NoSHOW! (He actually showed up at the church.)

Off to the Police concert at Churchill Downs. Great show (We're not huge fans, but thought, why not? It's only a few blocks from home.) but a great venue too, once you actually got to your seat. It was irritating and extremely LOUD walking through the entire building to get to the crowd choking tunnel, BUT, very cool once we were outside, essentially sitting out on the track! We had end seats, with the beer table line only 20 feet away. Excellent. I could get drinks, without missing ANY of the show! I will definitely go to another show there, and I'll be AOK with the "cheap seats."

Sunday: MoFo wasn't coming, Wade was out, NoShow, Skid, Trav, and Gimp was back home, so I arrived thinkin' MAYBE I'd see a local I knew... but OMP was already there and ripping! Kickass! I was bummed that I had already booked the day for a short session. Pauly was on, as usual. Tossin' the 50-50s at will now, and he still has backside airs. Tony joined us as well to work out that knee injury. "It'll be fine. Rub some concrete on it." Dane also rolled out early, and damn that's some fun skating to watch. You know he was gnar because he was wearing knee pads! He's really starting to put together some lines in the deepend. HUGE airs, and grinds galore. The ollies in the pipe are pretty damn cool too. So I was yet again pissed that I hadn't brought any camera(s). I think I've learnt my lesson... always have a cam. Noted. Oh, and Gimpy, at the next joint session there will be a grind off in the deepend 8'... you've been challenged. OMP has 'em too. My best for the day was the melon out of the quarter, relatively quick, 3rd or 4th try. A grom wanted to join our "team." That's almost the same as "are you sponsored" innit? I told him he had to skate for another 16+ years. (He was "almost 14.") I didn't think fast enough to tell him just to start his own. But we imparted the wisdom of "Skate EVERYTHING as much as possible. And even when ya gotta get a job in two years. DON'T QUIT!" Hopefully he got it. Lot o' fun and a ton o' stoke packed into an hour session.

Until next week... go skate dammit...

Monday, July 09, 2007

Since 1987

Wow. Besides family, and 1 friend, there is only one other thread that has been a constant in my life for the last 20 years... skateboarding. Friends have come and gone, even a wife has come and gone. I feel I've really lived 5 different lives (high school, college, Tucson, single, and today) and skating is there in each life. Skating faded a bit for about 2 years, but it was always there. I've always owned a board, vids, mags, and skated (at least once a month in the lean years when I even helped open a skatepark). My parents wouldn't spend money on something they thought was a "phase." I love the fact that my parents even remember me telling them, "I'll always be involved in skating. It's not a phase." Is there a bit of spite in my skate longevity? Definitely.

It has taken every bit of those 20 years to progress to this level of skating. It's really not that high. Hell, I JUST learned itty bitty fs grinds... but I'm at the highest ability level that I've ever been, and yes, I occassionally skate well enough to get the best skater compliment, "Are you sponsored?" But in a "sport" that prides itself on individuality and lack of a "team" atmosphere, I did not make this journey alone... it took changes in equipment, DRAMATIC changes in terrain, and a small group of friends to reach this level of enthusiasm and passion for this useless wooden toy. I say small, meaning just 1 or 2 in the early years, then 4 or 5, then I moved and skated alone (the lean years), and now... I have even more friends as passionate and dedicated to skating as I have ever been. I know of no other way but to simply say, Thank You Concretins... Here's to 20 more years.


Session Recaps('cause apparently no one else will):
4th of July session was good, though I tweaked my knee REALLY bad, or so I thought. It quit hurting pretty quickly, but I gave it a couple of days. My HIP actually hurt more the following 2 days, I must have popped that joint... but all is well now. I'll not be trying lame one footers over a barrier any more. Oh yeah, and MoFo smoked a kickflip over it. Can't blame that one on ramp ownership. Gotta flex that moniker right? (note for the pedestrians, or new readers, MoFo is short for "BigFatMuddaF'rWhoMakesUsAllLookLikeAmateurs") We've started congregating in the deep end lately, I blame Travio. Everyone wants to skate faster and faster, so we do. I have my lines, and I can work the pipe (backside) pretty well, but I just watch everyone else and try to steal their gnar. I can ALMOST keep enough speed like everyone else and not have to walk out. That's so embarassing.

Almost a full on session, only Wade and OMP were absent. Gimpy was in from Ohio, Ward rolled in, Tony, and low and behold, NoShow too! It was really cool the way we all spread out. Deep end rippers, a few in the flow area for grinds and speed runs, and MoFo gettin' his street on, and Steve-O and NoShow gave the vert ramp some urethane love too.

Skidzilla was throwin' fs touch grinds everywhere, and high speed backside 5-0s in the 8' (and elsewhere) all in ONE RUN! He was "skating angry" but was always smiling at the end, he was ON. MoFo hit the tre-flip (twice even) out of the bank. He is human, and had to try that several times. I finally got nollie disasters on the 6' quarter, though I still wish I could bring them in faster. But I gotta tell ya, it was Gimpy's session. Grind class was in session. Full speed 8' and flow grinds, also made the manual, 5-0s, corner grinds, then 50-50s in the 8' vert... And NONE of them were sketch. They were all locked in. Oh yea, AND bs touch grinds in the REALLY big bowl! Damn, Gimpy. I have severe grind envy. Yep, I'm a lifer. All I need is the tatt...

Perhaps, just PERHAPS, there will be a video teaser put together soon... probably not though. Forget I said anything...

Friday, July 06, 2007

Entertainment Time!

Apologies now for slow internet users. This video just makes me chuckle.

Brought to you by Tony the bone.

Also, here are some cool skate wheels.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Charleston Hates Skaters

I took a trip down to the Isle of Palms, SC last week with the fam for a little chillin' and relaxin' - chillaxation, if you will - and thought I'd hit a few skate parks while I was there. I fired up ye ol' Interweb for some skate park info but was dismayed by the lack of current stats on the parks in the area. I saw "The Park" on, "The Courtyard" at the Carolina Ice Palace, and a few dinky skate parks attached to public parks. I also came across this little number...

Charleston Cop Pushes Skateboarder

I scoped out some spots on the way through town and saw plenty of "No Skateboarding" signs posted. Hmm, it looks like Charleston as a whole doesn't like skaters. We also passed the Fairmont Skate Shop while travelling through Mount Pleasant and decided to hit that place up for info before setting out to find the parks I had researched. Lusy and I packed our gear and headed toward the shop.

The Fairmont Skate Shop was pretty well stocked. Lusy picked out a sweet belt (sweet because it was bright yellow and on sale) and I picked up a hoodie (on sale as well) and a skate video. I started talking with the skate shop owner, Shane, and I asked him about the local skate parks. He said they were all lame. "The Park" was about an hour north and he didn't recommend it. "The Courtyard" had closed. He claimed that everything that was worth skating was in people's backyard. Shucks.

I told him about the 'Cretins and we traded URLs (Fairmont Skate Shop if you want to check them out). I also told him that I had seen some video of a cop pushing a skater off his board and Shane was like, "That was my brother. I filmed that!" Ha! We talked about the video, the aftermath, and attitude of Charleston for a while. Shane was a cool cat!

In fact, Shane was so cool, he gave me the numbers of some guys who had a legendary wooden bowl in their backyards. I think that it was the Warehouse Bowl that Travio and I had looked at on Unfortunately, I was nursing a foot injury and I had the sweet and impressionable Lusy in tow. I appreciated the numbers but never pulled the trigger. If anyone is in Charleston and wants to try it out, I have Jerry and Hank's numbers >:)