CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The First in a Series

There’s been a happy-go-lucky smirk plastered on NoShow’s face since I met him. It’s more pronounced of late. It’s no real surprise to me that on July 14, he was committed to an institution. It appears the beaming is due to illness; the man is Lovesick. The Institution of Marriage is his only treatment option. He and Julie tied the knot on Bastille Day (French Independence Day, Nimrod – Vive Le Frogs!). Congrats to the both of ‘em! I’m sure he is in capable hands and will get the treatment he needs.

NoShow first made his appearance at our beloved Louisville Extreme Park as Eric Brinley. He’s a co-worker of fellow Concretin, Travio. A few broken commitments to join us on road trips earned him several profane monikers. However, his George Jones antics continued with such frequency the crime went from heinous to humorous. Eventually, Gimpy offered up the permanent term of endearment (and least offensive of nicknames) we use for him: NoShow. Strangely, and with no knowledge of the declaration, the very next e-mail we received from Eric cancelling yet another commitment he signed it ‘NoShow.’ Ant mentality? Cosmic Continuity? Severe affliction of Concretinism, is my guess.

NoShow is a TechnoWeinie by day; grinding out code in his very own veal-fattening pen for a local division of CNet so we can all get our daily infofix from cyberland. By night he is a family man and Ar-teest. Check out his work at Toast on Market and/or Better yet, hire him to deconstruct your disagreeable countenance into a work of art even your grudge-bearing mother-in-law will be proud to display.

Like The Skidzilla, No Show is late skater. He picked up the board after his thirtieth birthday and quickly got the bug. So, perhaps, part of the reason for the perpetual smirk is blissful stupidity – he is clearly old enough to know better. But, the man can carve it like a Christmas Turkey and he’s only been at it for just over a year. For that, and his non-stop grin, he gets big props in my book.

He’s a blast to hang and skate with –look for him at the weekend morning sessions. Just don’t expect to actually see him. He is NoShow after all. His e-mail from yesterday sums it up best:

‘Count me in. And by "count me in", I actually mean "I'll tell you I'll
be there but then won't and won't call either, bastards." :)


The KEWS and The AYES - Know Your Concretin

The mandatory stuff:
Full Name – Rev. Eric Justin Brinley, Esq. (AKA NoShow)
Hails from Louisville, KY
Years on the planet – 33
Years in The Ville – 33 (minus some time in Lexington and Dallas)
Years Skating – 14 months

Some just for fun
Wilma or Betty?
Totally Betty. Grrrl next door? Yowza! Besides, she had pupils. Wilma was just freaky. And a dead lay (at least that’s what I’ve heard).

Fave skate moment
Peanut bowl in Dry Ridge. I was hitting it hard and I had a crowd of Concretins lining the pool cheering me on. I felt like a war hero coming home. I was almost expecting tickertape. Sniff!

Wastes of time other than skateboarding
I paint, I play computer games, and I am a goalkeeper for two indoor teams at Mockingbird and River City. The weird thing is that the contact points of injury for soccer and skating are pretty much identical. It makes for some nasty elbows and knees. Oh well!

Worst skate injury
Rolling my foot and ankle in the full pipe last summer when I (thought) I was hopping off my board. Turned out I wasn’t. I was on crutches for two weeks.

Who’s yer honey?
Julie is my sweetie… always will be!

What’s your schtick?
Live and let live. Just don’t mess with me or mine.

The family affair
Wifey, check. Two awesome kids, check. Two kooky cats, check. One dog, 40% Jack Russell, 40% Australian Shepherd, 20% Pit Bull, 100% Loyal, check.

The perils of being me
I seem to have a healthy dash of luck – not good or bad luck, mind you – just luck. It makes for an interesting life (and hopefully some really good campfire stories for the grandkids).

When I grow up…
I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys’r’Us Kid!

Glazed or Sprinkles
Glazed, Sprinkled, if it’s from Krispy Kreme it’s getting’ in my belly!

Shout out to
Gotta give a shout-out to my kids, Lusy and Will.I.Am. They are the best!

Why I started skating
Funny story really… Travio went on a half-day snowboarding trip with me. “I skate so I should be able to snowboard,” was his reasoning. He strapped on and, even with my best instruction, maybe made it down the hill twice over the course of the next few hours. My repayment to him was to hit the Louisville park in the Spring. Who knew that I’d fall in love with it?


  • At 10:25 AM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Nice! Well done. But "The Skidzilla?" And I know who Travio is, but what's a ConRetin? :)

    And I guess since he's married now, he can't really say no to cleanin' out the backyard huh? Those damn "honey-do" lists!

  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger travio said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 4:36 PM, Blogger travio said…

    I wish I could say I feel closer to knowing the real Brinely, aka "No Show", but unfortunately for me, seeing our beloved Brinley more days than most should be allowed, I feel as though I just read the dust cover jacket to his newest novel. Though I know I missed out on the many editions before, I’ve been fortunate enough to pick him up somewhere in the middle. It was during this time period, reading more like a novella than a novel, that it became clear to me that this character, the one that wears “a happy-go-lucky smirk” as so pointedly noted by fellow old man child, Skidzilla, this is a man that is clearly cracked but in that perfect way giving him patina, a most interesting veneer that I, we’ve, all come to know and love.

    Here’s to stumbling across such an interesting read,


  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    Excellent post!

    He almost sounds like a super-hero...

  • At 8:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    14 months, holy crap! could've fooled me. Maybe a superhero indeed. If you ever need a sidekick let me know, I used to be called the bailer cuz I never showed up. how bout it? Nowshow and the bailer will take on all evil!

  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger NoShow said…

    NoShow and The Bailer sounds like a nice tag-team duo for the wrastlin' mat :P

    Thanks for the post, Skidz. And thank you, Travio. I imagine you writing that post whilst puffing on your pipe, wearing your dinner jacket and clinching your monocle after Sunday tea.

    Bad boy, Nik!!!

  • At 7:38 AM, Blogger NoShow said…

    Oh, and well done on the photo montage. Love it!

  • At 9:12 AM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Cool column Skidz!!

    Yeah NoShow is rad (when he shows...:) He gets smoother and faster everytime I see him.


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