CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Despite things being in that order, I will first throw out a big Concretin Congratulations to Travio & Lori for their second successful endeavor to add to the skate community! An 8lb baby girl joined the census tabulations this week. Thanks you two, the world needs more skater chicks! Good on ya!

Now settle in with a sandwich... I gots lots to type, and the least you could do is read it all! More info than you need, but that's how I roll, punk. (It ain't EMO, it's NUERO!)

AdventureWeek report: THUNDER over Louisville. Best one yet! (number 7 for me) Arrival was at 6:30 AM with an easy load in. (5 tents, 2 coolers, 5 chairs, 3 sleepin' bags, 5 blankets, 1 bucket, and 2 wagons.) I hit the park around 9:30 w/ only a helmet and lead elbow pad, planning to take it easy, as I did have a big trip coming up in less than 24 hours. I only skated for about 20 minutes or so, and that's all I needed! I hit EVERYTHING first try as if I had been warmed up for an hour. A very short session, but one of the funnest. One lil' grom pointed out that my board was the perfect size for his "larger" friend. How crass I thought, ya lil' bugger. But his friend took a spin and loved it. Then the lil' bugger said, I'm gonna buy you one of those old skool decks for your birthday. That earned cool points, but still, ya shouldn't call you're tweener friends fat, even if it's veiled (slightly).

Back to camp. First beer was 10AM. (How is it that I was the only one drinking at such a large gathering of Kentucky rednecks? This proved to be harmful to my innards.) Many friends and family joined us for an always impressive air show. The big triangular B2 bomber even showed this year... and ya know, it was lame. While an engineering marvel, it ain't all that fun to watch do a flyover. It was nothing compared to the sounds of a jet fighter screaming overhead and busting a 180 between the two bridges. The pilots hit anywhere from 2 to 9 Gs during the show.... What a job.
We had a few wagon races down the hill beside camp.

Then we capped off the day with the nations largest fireworks display. Definitely the Spinnelli bros best work (whatever their name is). A good mile and half trek out with all gear and we were all home by 11:30(well, the Indy crew still had 2 more hours to go). Next year we gotta put power on the Thunder Wagon and make that trek out much much easier. The bros kicked ass with both the load in and out. I'd be shit without 'em. (But probably less nuerotic.)

So now that we haven't packed a thing for a week long trip to two western states, we had to really work when we got home. Which was EXTREMELY difficult to do with a throbbin' head (shuddup Skid) and dashes to the throne only to dry heave. No beer at Thunder next year... NO BEER AT THUNDER NEXT YEAR... The 4:00AM wake up call for a 6:00AM flight came much much too soon, and the dry heaves continued... I was not looking forward to getting on a plane, let alone walking through the airport(s). Luckily, the gut wrenching subsided and upright slumbering commenced. I was asleep virtually every minute that I was on a plane that morning.

Feeling better once we landed in Denver, it was time to SKATE! I was bummed as I had left my lid at home. That put a damper on my ability to nut up. I hooked up with Denver (web)skateshop owner, Paul, (via OldManArmy) at the Aurora Wheel park.

Paul definitely does not suffer from frontside gayness.

The park was smooth and having more time, and a helmet, I certainly felt I could rip the place. Alas, Bailey, a cool skatechick loaned me her helmet, as she wasn't using it, because of the new mohawk and all. It was a medium, and barely fit my apparently fat melon, but my mangina inflamation was dramatically soothed. She even let me keep it to go the next park, as she sees Paul every weekend, and would just get it back from him. HOW COOL! Thanks Bailey.
Coolest skate chick in Denver!

Rockin' and a Rollin'

Next up was Greenwood. The lip wasn't set right, so the term "noping" fit perfectly. Metal and smooth, but no bump at all. If ya didn't lock in right, it was skeery. Half of the deepend was lumpy, and it was all H U G E ! I managed to keep speed and even hit a RnR on a 10' section. The shallows were a bit too mellow, but still a blast. I was stoked watching this grom (JB) hit HUGE fs 270s over the hip, and even a handflip! Nick, another teen grom, was sportin' a vintage reissue Vision with rails and big old Powell Peralta wheels. A board that was originally released probably the year he was born! (If not before.) I had a great session at both parks and really appreciate the hospitality of everyone I met, including Paul, Bailey, Larry, Nick, JB, and several others who shall remain nameless-to protect their identities. (Or perhaps because the brain cells have long since been murdered.)

JB is the definition of smooth rippage.

Oh, and Louisville needs to take a look at the landscaping of the Greenwood, CO park. If the pedestrian business owners of our town saw that, and thought THAT was what a skatepark looks like, we would have 10! It wasn't perfect, but it was fresh 'crete to me, and it was goood.
Yes, there is a skatepark in there!

Onward to Colorado Springs. Absolutely BEAUTIFUL! The bro-in-law and fam have killer natural parks within 5 minutes of home, and a view of the mountains from the front door. We had a wonderful visit with them and our 12 year old nieces were so much fun to hang out and chat with. Hit the Antique Mariner for grubbage if you're ever in Colorado Springs. Goood stuff. We hit BC Surf and Sport for a new lid. A very comfy protec Burnquist model, in XL. (!)
The inlaws, minus one, 'cause Momma had to work. :(

Tuesday came and the girls didn't go to school... Why not? Well, after 2 gorgeous days in the 60s and 70s, they had a SNOW DAY! Yep, the weather changes there faster and more dramatically than in the Ohio Valley, believe it. We drove north back to Denver in virtually white out conditions, a 1 hour trip taking well over 2 hours. Not fun. Southbound was a parking lot and eventually got shut down completely. But luckily people there generally know how to drive in rough weather, as I only saw 2 cars off the road, and we didn't go over 40 miles an hour 'til we hit Denver and it was just cold and rainy. I think they ended up with a foot of snow. Glad we were headed to the desert!

Sidenote: Bought several skate mags for the possible weather shutout at the airport... and low and behold, Home Skateshop has a write up in Skateboarder Mag!! Killer! Good on ya Thom and Derek!


The Sahara. A cheap hotel, at the far end of the strip and the last stop on the monorail. 'Tis why we chose it. Don't stay there expecting a great room. It was big, but in a bit of disrepair, but in Vegas, once a hotel crosses a certain level of maintenance requirements, they just blow it up and build a new one. I give the Sahara about 5 years before joining the Sands in the big desert in the sky. Just hire a maintenance guy, seriously. But alas, you don't spend much time in your room in Vegas, and if you're doin' it right, when you are in the room, you're sleepin'. (Or other more fun activities.) That all being said, the casino floor of the Sahara was great! Low minimum tables, all the time, and 4 of the 5 dealers I hung with all week were fun loving and generally seemed to like their job. (the 5th wasn't rude, but hardly moved or talked at all) Most of the patrons were just as fun loving and willing to help ya keep your bets straight, so as not to miss that double up on 11 in blackjack. Oh, and it certainly helps that the tables were VERY good to me all week.

Wednesday morning I hooked up with OldManArmy soldier, Geeser (Mark), from South Carolina. In Vegas? Yea. OMA rocks. (His wife was there for a conference, and he tagged along, board in hand.) He rented a car, so we didn't do the limo thing, but I still got chauffered in a new Charger(yes, I contributed to the car fund, I'm not completely lame.) Thanks Mark! The first park, "pro park", was a big hole in the ground with HUGE mellow transitions. Big wheels were definitely required here. He cruised around and I really pushed to hit my standards. It was tough, because every thing was a foot or two bigger than what I'm used to, even though it had mellow transitions. I got over the 7 (maybe 8') spine, and even rolled in. The big challenge for me was the fs carve over the quarter in the deep end. Got it though, and I have even more respect for Skidz "over the hole" make in Whiting, as backside over this quarter was even a bit scary. At least the pic is cool. Speed is key.
Look out LT! Comin' through!

After a good session, and a bit o' vid footage, it was on to Henderson and a buttery smooth Grindline park. Man, that park is AWESOME. However, already pretty tired, and reaching 82 seriously dry degrees by the time we arrived, meant little rippage would be had. Geeser took a good tailbone slam, and I could not adapt fast enough for the much tighter transitions either. I wasted a couple of runs in their kidney bowl, that had a nice 8' deep end, but 5' shallows, and that was VERT. Way too tight for my condition and the heat. We bugged out relatively quickly as school let out and the groms began to swarm the place(from just a few hundred yards away). But, definitely a place worth hitting if you're in the area. (Know anyone that will sponsor a "Concretins in Vegas" video?)
Geeser. Coolest cat from South Carolina in Vegas!

Back to the "real" Vegas. We hit the Hilton for the "Star Trek Experience." Very very cool and highly recommended, even if you're not a trekky. Kind of a combo motion theater but the walk through is part of the story. Very well done. Kudos to you, Conrad Hilton, (great?)grandfather to the spawn of satan. We also saw "Spamalot." So now I get a few more of the Monty Python jokes Alice tosses out. "I fart in your general direction" being one of my favorites. A great theater, but really, the Wynn did not seem to be the right crowd for such a show. But find your grail blokes, find your grail!

Lil' Tony found a couple of things he liked in Caesar's Forum Shops.

What happens in Vegas, LT...

...gets posted on the internet.

I learned that I am not rich enough to really even be IN the Belagio, but it's beautiful inside and worth a look. Also, I'm not rich nor pretty enough to hang out at the Wynn. I tried to play roulette there, with my "winning" strategy from the Sahara, and lost $40 in about 3 minutes. Apparently it wasn't the strategy, it was the tables and the mojo. I won pretty much every session I played at home base. The slots everywhere basically wiped the floor with Alice 3 of the 4 days. She had a great time, and was WAY up at one point. We both played blackjack together for a couple of hours on just $20 between us one night. THAT was fun! I had a great time, but my "KICKASS VEGAS ROCKS" point came on our last morning. I was sitting playing roulette, and even started with $50 this time, as I had been ferretting away my winnings from the week. I could have started with more, but what's the point? I wanted to come home with a nice cushion. Well, after about 45 minutes of multiple hits, and much fewer losses, I had every available table chip (in my color) and they had to pay out with "cash colors" (chips with actual dollar amounts)!! I later discovered this was only $200, but it was stacks and stacks of chips in front of me!! I was stoked, particularly so when Alice called the #13 hit and I doubled up on it. The girlfriend of the guy next to me said, just put your chips on top of his! That was funny. I cashed out $260, and continued to play for another hour on $20, building that up to around $50. I had doubled or even tripled my $20 or $40 starts several times during the week, but nothing like that. I can understand how people get addicted to gambling, as I was psyched as we headed out to catch the shuttle for the airport. When I grow up, I wanna make a living playing roulette! Viva Las Vegas, INDEED.

BUT WAIT! We're not through yet! We got home to DaVille at 1:30AM Sunday, and I was at the park 7 hours later. Too bad Gimpy thought I meant Monday at 1:30AM. But OMP still roadtripped and EB was there too! (No, REALLY!) Brett was up bright and early rippin' it up with attempts at switch roll-ins to switch nose wheelie back in. (It's just fakie, you can't fool me punk.) He'll have it in his next session. Long lost 2Fresh photog biker Andrew was also in attendance. He's been playin' in the dirt and hasn't hit much 'crete lately.
What time is it Andrew?

We met a "new" old dude from Sayerville, NJ so stoked on our park that he is ready to buy real estate here. (Sorry, already forgot his name. As I said, brain cell homicide.) And yes, for those of you payin' attention, Sayerville is JBJ's home town.
OMP is pushing the frontside carves to the next step and grabbin' the rail now.

We also had a blast with doubles runs. My best land for the day was great melons over the trash can (laying on it's side, of course). A great session and a perfect ending to the best week of the year... so far.

Happy Anniversary Alice! You da best!

Showdown at The FrogBowl

Old Man Army's Frogwing was nice enough to host a Concretin to his very own ramp somewhere in Tornado Alley South of Iowa City, IA. Truly an awesome jester consideringI'd never met the cat before.

I landed at the Eastern Iowa Airport about 10am Sunday morning, and hit the concrete park in Iowa City to meet up with Jeff (aka Frogwing). He grabbed his buddies Jeff and Jeff (true!) and a couple of hard skatin' youths and we headed from crete to construction site to try our hand at vert. The top of the barn that houses the beast, I mean ramp, was unfinished. A storm was headin into the area and the wind was blowin at about 1,000 miles an hours. Standing on the deck was as harrowing as dropping in.

Check out the scene in the slides below. A good time was had by all. Frogwing has vowed to make one, maybe two, trips to The Ville this year. We gotta show him a solid bit o' Concretin Hospitality. He certainly earned it in my book.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Pronoun or Imperative?

I don't know if this is a call to action or some juvenile name calling. Either way it is funny to me. Somewhere in Iowa is a 'Fuckin Puke' stencil.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

You Wish You Could

Happy B-Day, Steve-O!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Colorado Skate Sessions

I got one day in Denver WITH the family. SO, basically, I was puttin everybody out both times we stopped to hit a skate park. I only got to skate 2 park, but I took pics of 3. We started in Silverthorne in the mountains. I would have skated it, but it was 17 degrees. It looked like a lot of fun and I hope to hit it next trip (we're hoping to make an annual or bi-annual trip to this place).


It was warmer in Denver - sunny and 60! I was warned the park was slick by an Old Man Army Member. He was right! I fell on my ass on flat ground just putting my foot down to stop.

I also met some cat from Louisville sporting a N:CE jacket - he rides for N:CE. Very Cool!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Will at Home Skate Shop told me about the cool indention in the ground: Lots-o-fun!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Finally, we stopped at The Aurora Wheel Park. It had some fun stuff, too. Fruitbooters were minimized by having their own In Line Hockey rinks (three!) and a BMX track next to the concrete kept most of the bikers out, too! It was a very cool, well thought-out place to play.

Aurora Wheel Park
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Friday, April 13, 2007

The Zillas on the Mount

Sun in our eyes, and a tiny little LCD screen totally washed out in the sun made this photo nearly impossible. The Gibster ROCKED the slopes and a grand time was had by all. Except Sharon who graciously put up with a very whiny little Ainne (hey - everybody needs a nap sometimes - today was her day) while Gib and I blasted the slopes. Thanks, Sharon!

Still no skating to report, but the storm didn't show and it is supposed to be 59 degrees in Denver tomorrow. I'm prayin for Crete!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

mmm... Pool Coping, D-Oh! Snow in the Bowl

I rode up to the Silverthorne Skatepark (10 minutes from the Condo) and spied this vision of beauty and what looked to be dry bowls. But, alas, the shadowy side was not dry.

Weep not for me though, I DID get to snowboard for six hours before these photos were taken.

I'm gonna try to hook up with an Old man Army contact "PMiller" owner/operator of the Denver Skateshop on Saturday for a session on the Concrete, but we got a storm headin' this way which mught wreak havoc on such plans. But, again, weep not for Skidzilla, for he will ride the snow instead of the Crete.

When I grow up I wanna live where I can snowboard and skate in the same day!

Sunday, April 08, 2007

How to irritate Nikoli 101

I joined the OldManArmy in November. I post often and promote the comraderie and cool vibe I get there. There are 'soldiers' I really consider friends and hope to meet and skate with soon. I've received shirts from and I've sent a few shirts to fellow soldiers. And THIS is the thanks I get. (As if I don't get enough of this type of abuse from the 'Cretins.)

If you ever get the feeling that people are laughin' AT you, and not WITH you. They probably are... *sigh* It's like junior high all over again.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

5th Anniversary Skate -Brrrrrrrrrrrr

I first hit the Extreme Park for the very 1st time 5 years ago, April 7, 2002. Skating there again today with Mofo (just like five years ago - only I didn't know him yet) brought a tear to my eye. Mostly cuz the wind was blowing at 10,0000 miles per hour (hyperbole)and the temperature was 27 degrees Fahrenheit (fact). I actually didn't realize the anniversary-ness of the date until I sat down to type this post. (My how I've grown. Last year I had to type a huge sobby diatribe about the park and The Concretins and how skating changed my life. This year I'm just gonna give a session update and rank on Kyle.)

A post on Old Man Army titled "BUTTLOAF Weather in KY" explained why Mangadezijr wasn't gonna make it to our beloved park this weekend - the weather looked awful from a Wednesday perspective. Certainly not worth a 5 1/2 drive from Detroit. Although the title was an April Fools prank (a day late) planted by one of the OMA Administrators to change certain expletives to ridiculous words; in this case shitty got turned into BUTTLOAF. Unfortunately, the weatherman was right: the weather did, in fact, resemble a loaf that your butt might produce. So, Mangadezijr, you didn't miss nothin'. Keep your pass for better weather!

Sometimes it sucks to skate with Mofo. For those who may not know, Kyle received this nickname cuz Nick was always calling him names in the pre-blog e-mails he sent out titled, "Weekend Update." Once Nick was out of town so I took it upon myself to send out the "Weekend Update," and explained that the reason Nick always cussed Kyle is because Kyle is a Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs. But, that quickly got shortened to Mofo; mainly because it sucks to type Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs over and over in a blog. Anyway I saw him skate 5 years ago and he was killing it. And he was killing it again today. It was nice to see him have to work his ass off to land an Ally-Oop. But, he got it. And I was stoked for him.

But here's what sucks to skate with him - minimal amount of positive reinforcement when landing something new. His self-reservedness just doesn't seem to allow it. So, when I shred a full speed FS 50-50 around most of the capsule at the end of the 4 foot we use as a mini, I think I got a audible 'yeah' out of him. Where's Nikoli when you need him? He's good for a shout out. Especially for anything Frontside and anything that grinds loud! Plus, as an added bones, it chaps his ass cuz his AOV (Adult Onset Vagina) flares hard just thinking about Frontsides.

So, for me the differences were immense: 5 years ago it was sunny, 75 degrees, blue skies, and I was scared to roll into the bunny/street area; today it was a bitterly cold 27, cloudy with flurries, the park was empty and I can grind Frontside. As for Kyle: not much has changed - he's still a Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs.

C U N 2 (weeks, that is)

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Two Sides to Every Story

New theories arise about the Valentine "Eternal Love" picture posted by our resident Romantic, Nikoli.

Perhaps the truth lies in the comic below:

Monday, April 02, 2007

April Fools Day: aka Concretins Day

Saturday morning MoFo and Skidz ran 10 miles. Don't ask me why. I get up, hold up a "Go Concretins" sign to cheer them on, then took this photo and went back to bed. And this is the thanks I get.

Sunday: How did we get through the day with no one playin' the ole "Ow, I broke something" joke? We all know it's possible with the way these old dudes skate, and fall. Well, we survived a fun session that included Skidz bustin' some smooth grinds in the deep 8, and general rippage by all. And I'm never gonna tire of watching MoFo throw down long ass stand up 5-0s. We ended it all with a bit o' retro flatland, chillin' at Wick's Pizza, and finishin' up the vid fix at Casa de 'Zilla. Life is good.

Here's a brief look at the foolishness.