CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Few Tithes Paid at the Post-Thunder Church of Skatin'

Judging by the mess, I would say about 800,000 people trampled thru or around my beloved skatepark on Saturday Nite. It was Extra Lethal Skate Day. As if concrete, metal, wood, urethane, speed and insanity weren't potentially disastrous on their own - the folks who stopped by the park for Thunder were kind enough to break about one bazillion bottles all over it. Everywhere you looked trash and glass - lots of glass (See YOU PEOPLE SUCK! in Nick's Thunder rant below). Fortunately, it was mostly on the deck and only minor amount of crap was in the bowls, but the word was still 'carve high or don't go!'

I rolled in about 8:20 and Church was in session but only a scant 4 concrete disciples (1 Concretin, Kyle, 1 Honorary Concretin cuz he's in the vid, Brett, and a couple of groms). 2 Bikers rounded out the chapel. But, hey I ain't complainin' - anytime I get my own 2 million dollar skatepark with clear skies and 68 degrees I'm a happy man. 'Cept when I suck out the wazoo which was today. I couldn't land a damn tail stall. Pitiful! No FS Airs. No 8' 50-50's. Nuthin'. On top of all that I had to tie my shorts together cuz the button and zipper popped and somehow I missed my morning constitution, so I was skatin' with one in the chamber and ready to launch the whole time I was at the park!

To make matters worse was having to sit there and watch Mr. Ramp-Owner, Mr. Are-You-Sponsored?, Mr. Can-I-have-a-Turn-Now, Kyle? You know, the original Big Fat Mofo That Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs.

Except Brett.

Brett Fitzgerald, for those who don't know.
Nice guy.

You know, I'm having my worst day in a while and this guy is throwin stuff in the capsule that makes me puke. Way to rub it in, man! One run in particular sticks in my mind: Bonk in, FS ollie to Tail, BS ollie to Tail, various and sundry pivots and stalls out of various and sundry ollies (jaw dropping, I assure you), ollie to manual around the roll-in, manual in and BS ollie to nose blunt - which he did step off of, but come on! And, BTW, he's just back off a lay-off for a knee injury. Give a guy a break!

I left. No tricks, broken drawers, and a colon at full capacity - all of these things I've lived with before. But ladle on top a big dose of indignity and I'm done. Through. Alvedezen Kaput.

When I grow up I wanna skate like Kyle and wish I could skate like Brett.

Bon Voyage Nick and Alice!


  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Man, between this post and Nick's I'm sure glad I stayed away from Louisville last weekend, haha. Did a little scouting for the OH roadtrip this past week though.

  • At 11:47 AM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Sorry I missed the session. I was wasted and didn't do ANYTHING all day. It was an all-nighter on Sunday night to prepare for the Tucson trip. While I'm sure the skating was killer, I'm really sorry I missed watching Dave skate in pain. Guess his "new" name is Skidmark.


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