CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Thursday, May 24, 2007

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

Frontside Gayness
I have it. It's not my fault. It's genetic in my family. But luckily for the ladies, all I got was gaydar and the frontside affliction. (The bro got the attraction to dudes.) As if the action figure thing and an affinity for crafts weren't enough to require repeated defense of my man card.

Anyway... at least I'm not alone in my affliction. Travio joined me in the battle to cure frontside gayness at the Concretin research facility (MoFo's). A short session, by normal mini ramp standards, it took us every bit of 90 minutes, but we did lessen the inflamation. While normally I get dizzy from constant counterclockwise spins (backside), I certainly got unwound, but no less dizzy. Travis fought for the grind but never really struggled with the fs turn(he's quite manly). But I don't care, fs edgers (where one wheel is not touchin' the ramp, but the truck ain't makin' that cool sound) are still pretty burly. I did get a few "grinds" but I think the more accurate term would be "scratchers."

I've watched OMP take the same "scratch" and turn it into a "slash" just adding style. Doing it on 'crete in the 8' bowl, or even the 11' certainly fuels my hate for him. I understand now HOW he does them, but I still don't get how he can look at the coping when he does it!? Every attempt at even glancing at the grind in progress resulted in a crash in progress. I guess future pics of me doin' a fs grind (it'll look like a grind in a still pic, and I'll tell everyone it was anyway) will just make it seem like I don't care enough about it to even look. Speaking of aloof skating... MoFo was there too.

He was visibly tired. And even warned us that the session would get shut down before bedtime. So maybe it wouldn't be quite so jaw dropping to watch... Yeah right! Let's see, switch rock-n-roll, switch grinds, kickflip rock fakie (first try), 5-0 grinds galore (as usual), and various pivot variations including nollie pivot, pivot fakie, and pivot rocks. Though we did witness a bit of a struggle. 8 tries to make the no comply tailslide.

So if you want to help us cure frontside gayness, or just see some serious rippage, the next time you get invited to MoFo's... don't be a NoShow. (That's right, I'm officially announcing the 'Cretin name for the one formerly know as EB.) Welcome to the team NoShow!


  • At 8:14 AM, Blogger NoShow said…

    NoShow... it's better than some nicknames I've had.

  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    HaHa!! Nick wrote: "As if the action figure thing and an affinity for crafts weren't enough to require repeated defense of my man card."

    Too embarrassed to include Bon Jovi in that sentence huh?? The criteria listed by you is really just secondary small potatoes dude.

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 2:23 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Aw, that ain't right. Bon Jovi can play guitar! And Zach had JBJ as his ringtone! Cut me some slack. Keep it up Buckeye, and your part in the next vid is gonna have Bad Medicine as music!


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