CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Monday, September 17, 2007


Hypothetically speaking, let's just say you see your seven year old son, of moderate bicycling skills, perched at the top of hill at the spot indicated by the red arrow. And, for argument sake, let's say he has his bike with him at said location. Furthermore, suppose you are at the farthest spot away from this hill, peeling off your skate pads and talking with your skatebud, who, best as he can through panic-stricken vocal chords, questions whether your son has previously attempted a descent on this massive hill.

Do you:

a) scream like an idiot at the top of your lungs trying to convince your son that this is a bad idea and he isn't yet up to the challenge?


b) support your son's adventurous nature and pray that all the life-lessons you have given him will cause him to think carefully and change his mind, and, if that fails, that serendipity and the few bike skills he has learned will help him through this successfully?

(Theme from Jeopardy now playing)

If you answered 'b' like I did, you would be very, very wrong.

Gib took a man-sized slam when he hit the concrete pad that is the skatepark at full speed. (Actual car conversation - Me: Did you hit the brakes at all? Gib: No. I didn't really think about it.) The kind of slam that takes skin from your forehead, cheek, chin, shoulder, elbow, knuckles, love-handle, and knee. The kind of slam that breaks the Styrofoam core of your helmet into pieces. The kind of slam that makes your head feel "like whatever is in it is too big to fit."

Careful, Gimpy, there is a competitor for this year's Gnar Award.


  • At 8:28 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    WOW! Hope the Gibster is ok. Remember Gibby, GLORY IS FOREVER! And I do apologize, I laughed my ass off!

  • At 9:07 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    Ouch Gibster!
    You keep that up and Jake Brown will be calling you for pointers.

    Hope you're healing quickly!

  • At 5:52 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    A contender indeed. Way to go. The kids got GNARBALLS.

  • At 7:44 PM, Blogger WWIII said…

    Holy crap. What a scare. From the pictures he looks like he is in good spirits.

    Next we want to see the pictures of the scars your wife put on you for excellent Xgames sitter duty.

  • At 12:12 PM, Blogger travio said…

    So Dave, was Sharron completely disappointed in you?

    Poor Gibby...building character one slam at a time,


  • At 7:21 AM, Blogger NoShow said…

    Poor Gibby for the slam. Poor Dave for the wrath from Sharon. Keep up the good work, Gibzilla. Cuts and bruises heal for a reason... so we can collect more of 'em!

    Never thought to hit the brakes? That's my boy!!!

  • At 11:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yes, that's heavy gnar, definitely a contestant for the Gnar Award. This kid has a future in extreme sports.


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