CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Sunday, November 12, 2006

And then there were 7...

... when there should be 8. We had a pledge orientation meeting. It was in Ohio. If you showed up, you were in. If you didn't, we're gonna need the shirt back. Eric, this means you punk! Welcome to the team Travis! Wish you could have made it Steve-O!
Load 'em up, move 'em out!

My personal favorite state park.

Just north of Felatio State Park, we shrugged off the 'crete denying rain and proceeded to destroy the Ollie's facility. 11 months since out last demo here, everyone padded up, and immediately ripped, no waiting thank you very much. The wood bowl seemed to have gotten smaller, as grinds and even roll ins seemed like old hat, to some of us more than others. But even though we all got served up a few times by the wooden tranny, we left that place with every ramp having much respect for the Concretins. (sans the street ramps, as not a single bit of our urethane EVER touched the street course-why would it?) The groms were confused, but were able to sound out the word "con - creet - in" and seemed genuinely interested when they asked, "What's that?" Though they never seemed to care about the answer. A bowl and micro session, followed by a wall ride then killer 6' mini session took every bit of our gnar, making a visit the hotel hot tub in Dayton quite necessary. A hotel room screening of Chlorine, followed by mini ramp 101 with Tony and Colin left us with visions of rippage dancing in our heads as we drifted to sleep.

Sunday morning started with a leisurely breakfast and team meeting at Bob Evans. It was here that it was decided that Eric had totally dissed the 'Cretins, and must pay for his impudence. Workin' my ass. I mean, it sucks that he got grounded and got his board taken away, but don't lie to us and say you have to work. Business settled, we headed to a grand creation of wonderous flat 'crete, the DC Shoes SkatePlaza. While bitterly cold, and without an ounce of transition to be found, we still had a good time at Dyrdek's community park. A local peace officer even rolled up to handle security at the Concretins demo, but then left fairly quickly when he realized that not even a 420 bust was gonna be possible.

So close Jon. That's why we call him Gimpy.

"When I was kid, all we had was flat 'crete!"

Holy St. Swinging Richard! No orbs were injured and Mofo was ok.

On to bigger and better things. And hopefully some sunshine. Nothing doin' on the sun. Just east of Blue Ball, Ohio, is the BakerBowl skatepark of Middletown. The park isn't perfect, but being 'Crete snobs, we have pretty high standards. But if you do the work to clean and dry out the bowl - way to go Jon! - wait it out and skate what ya can to stay warm, you will find the lines, and you WILL have a great time here. The "butterfly bowls" bogarted most of our time, and took every bit of gnar we could dish out, and still screamed DEATH BOWL at ya without missing a beat. I got my street on and surprised Kyle, and myself, with a few rail slides(on a really low rail) that I haven't done in years. This was definitely Jons park, as he was cruising every where, though Pauly was throwing slash grinds on every inch of coping in the Death Bowl. The session was winding down, but the other bowl was finally beginning to dry out. While Skidzilla was whining about pizza, I decided that I was not gonna go home and be pissed at myself for not at least attempting a roll-in in the mellow but big bowl. Hell, I knew if I attempted it (and didn't die), I was gonna make it. So without any more hype than "fuggit fuggit fuggit" and go... it was E A S Y! While cheers and a second wind of gnar(or pad reek-I'm not sure) wafted through the session, Skid was visibly irritated. As this meant not only did he HAVE to roll-in now, a satisfying pizza was now even further away from his lips. OMP also got beat down with peer pressure and proceeded to follow suit. Leading to several high speed quint roll in' runs. All inspired by Gimpy's rollin'-manual-roll-in-manual-roll-in line. Buckeye representin'!

WWJD? Hell, that's easy. Jon would just roll-in.

OMP Airlines

We Rule, You Don't

Trav seemed unfazed by the pressure, and never even looked at a roll-in, we'll have to do something about that. We'll threaten his family next time, or perhaps we could just teach him how to roll-in. That might be more productive. I guess he owes Eric a bit o' thanks, as he wasn't hazed since our rath was focused on Eric's vaginess. And poor Dave, never did get that satisfying pizza as the local joint we stopped at SUCKED. But we rolled on home, south past "Extreme Jesus" and on to the open arms of our ladies. Thanks for letting us go play. You rock.

I'm not really sure how we have so much fun on a roadtrip, without vitamin p or herbs, but we do. Concretins Rule!


  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger travio said…

    First off, in Eric's defense, it appears as though Eric did work all weekend, poor bastard, which is nasty habbit to get into. Remember Eric, when your 80 years old and grandkids ask, "grandpa if you could do it all over again, what would you do more of?" I'm pretty sure you're not going to say, "I wish i would of worked more and skated less". In all, we missed having you there...F'er!

    Thanks again guys, I had a great time. Thanks for taking it easy on me on my first road trip. Nick you're right, I remember standing there as Paul bonked in on the butterfly bowl thinking, "damn it, i'm the only one who hasn't done this", but I new I wasn't prepared to become crippled on my first outing so i decided to leave that stuff to the pro's and give myself a little more board time in order to find my comfort zone before trying such insanity.

    Kyle, Nick, John, Paul, Steve and's good to part of the team...I've got some catching up to do.


  • At 3:26 PM, Blogger NoShow said…

    8AM to 2PM on Saturday and 6AM to 4PM on Sunday. Weak :(

    Sorry I couldn't make it, guys. I'll just have to put up with a double-hazing next time, eh?

    It looks like everyone had fun. Nick, I'll send my shirts back in the mail ;)

  • At 7:33 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    NO no NOOO!!! DO NOT send them back to Nick in the mail EB...that will totally ruin the fun of tackling you the next time we see you at the park, ripping the shirt off your back, lighting it on fire and then pissing it out. HaHa. Even though we had a grand time planning the UNRELENTING application of ridicule and torture techniques that would ultimately lead to your demise, you were indeed missed this weekend Brinley; that sucks that u spent it working. Next time.

    What a weekend! Absolute blast. To seeing Kyle roll up ignoring the sickness to the epic Ollie's session to the bartender's chi chis to the rank ass stench when Nick and I walked into that hotel room to the idea of a horrified little T peeping out of Skidz's fudge machine to the drunken and trippin' on whatever FREAKS at the BP show to Leaving EB some friendly voicemail at breakfast to skating hometown crete with my LOO-UH-VUL bros to getting robbed at a substandard pizza joint, it was all good. My legs and body in general are wrecked today from so much skating. It was WELL worth it, as it always is. Thanks for making the trip.

    Nashville area next year anybody??

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger Skidzilla said…

    Nashville next year?! As long as we're talking, like, a warm weekend in January. That's a triple threat trip - Bowling Green, Nashville, & Franklin (even tho' it's only one bowl).

    The weekend rocked! I'm still totally stoked and spend way too much time recounting the greatness that was one helluva time in the STate that Spawned Devo, GiantFreakyJesus, and our very own Gimpy.

    Speakin' of Gimpy - get a new nick-name! You had more time off, but made the most improvements. So that pisses me off.

    EB - Listen Closely as the menu options may have changed: To eat my ass: Press 1, Tosuckle the tender underside of my testicles: Press 2....

    I ain't ready to let go! Sunday, 6am to 4PM MY ASS! Everyone seems to be forgetin' that WE CALLED YOU AT WORK! You weren't there. You should have at least picked up on the 3rd phone call in a row! I don't wanna hear no bullshit about telecommuting, either - you gotta get outta the house or your folks will make you mow the lawn or some shit.

    I would say I missed ya, but now that my car smells like the asses of four guys who skated ten hours, I'm kinda glad you didn't go. Although, I guess if you had, we woulda taken the van and it would be Sharon;s van that smells like the asses of five guys who skated for 10 hours.

    My legs are still sore, but I can't wait till this weekend. Current weather report looks sunny for Saturday. WHo's in for the extreme park?

  • At 10:44 AM, Blogger NoShow said…

    For the record, your calls were so rapid-fire that I missed them all while enjoying a massive dump. I came back to my desk and was like, "WTF?! *THREE* voicemails???" I thought someone had died. Little did I know that I was about to be killed! :P

  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    The problem with that statement EB, is not the excuse... it's the "enjoying" part... ew. I didn't need to know that.

    I've reviewed all the footage from the trip... it's killer. Jon, you suck. "Pussy." And if I didn't know better, I'd think we actually CAN skate!

    Still sore. Still stoked. As it should be.

  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    HaHa...I forgot about the "pussy" narration, Nick.

    Q: What are friends for??

    A: To break balls.

    DAMN!!! Why do I have to be a broke-ass thus needing to work OT all day Saturday when I could be in Louisville skating...I'm starting to sound like an (E)xtreme (B)itch.

  • At 11:06 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    Yeah, Awsome trip! Thanks for all the fun guys.

    Thanks for forcing me to roll into the 6 ft!

    Eric, we did miss you! But your absence gave us a lot to talk about. You'll be there next time dude!
    Oh, btw, I hope your dad gave your board back! :-)


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