CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

"We named the dog Indiana."

"I loved that dog."

One year ago... at 1:00 AM... my wife scared the shit outta me. It was "time." Life was already different, but this was IT! I was about to be officially responsible for the life of another human. Even though a rather small one, I was scared. I was wiggin' out in ways only fellow neurotic Scorpios know. (But I think I hid it rather well thank you very much. As no one ever paid me any attention the whole night. Which is exactly as it should be.)

10 hours later, HE had arrived. Not quite the way we expected, but beautiful, purple, and LOUD as ever. I cried and blubbered like an idiot. But that's ok, we were all crying. (And boy were his balls frkn HUGE! If only my gnar orbs were that big, I could rock-n-roll the 11' on demand no problem. But anyway...) And did you know, babies come with hats? Isn't that cool?

A year has passed. He still has big gorgeous blue eyes, and thin whispy blonde hair. (He must learn to surf.) He's much bigger and his "gnar" is much more proportional. The grin produced by only 8 teeth is infectious. The giggle, the shake of his head, the light he emits when I or his mother walk into the room, will all melt my heart in an instant. I imagine that will not change for me, ever.

No matter how gorgeous that woman, how sweet that skatepark, how perfect that deck set-up... there is nothing more beautiful than your child. If you have one or more, you know. You've tried to explain it to people, but like me, they didn't understand. I believed it, I knew it was true, but I never understood. Until last January...

Life is indeed grand. Happy Birthday Indy. Hope you're having a good time.


  • At 1:42 PM, Blogger jer said…

    happy birthday little dude.

    maybe dad will get you your own deck, just make sure he doesn't steal it.

  • At 7:11 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    Happy B-Day Indy!

    You made it a year with the Dawson crew! You deserve a new complete set up!

    I can't wait till you're touring the country on the Dew Action Sports tour and skooling Riley Hawk while earning all that cash!

    Oh yeah, don't forget to say "Thanks to the Concretins" while making your winning speaches!

  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Happy 1st Indy!!! He is a cute little bugger for sure. When viewing those pictures it's hard to imagine that he used to be cum.

    Yeah, kids are alright . . . When we skating again????

  • At 10:06 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Doooood!! Gimpy, man, that's just wrong. True, but wrong. Alice agrees. And adds, he wasn't cum, he was the lil' guy swimmin' in it... damn, that's even worse. :(

    See what living with a Cretin has done to this nice girl?

  • At 11:46 AM, Blogger jer said…

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! gimp that was hillarious.

    i'd make another comment but its just so wrong.

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger DeadBrinley said…

    Happy birthday, little man!

  • At 3:50 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Jer, you gotta share that now. You can't leave us hangin' like that. CUM ON, MAN!!!

    BTW, nice one Alice.

    I say if one person (other than myself) laughs it isn't wrong.

  • At 9:22 AM, Blogger jer said…

    i was gonna give the birthday card of:

    "Be thankful on your birthday, you could've been just another spot on the sheets"

    but you know thats real low brow........

  • At 7:56 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    You'll have to send that one some years down the road Jer, when little Indy can really understand and appreciate your thoughtful words.


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