CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Premier Party Report for the lame, travel challenged, and schedule conflicted.

Settle in, go get a drink and a sandwich. This is gonna take ya about 20 minutes or more. It took me alot longer to blog and get the pics ready. But it's worth it. Dial up users... go to bed, the page should be done loading when you wake up.

Things got off to a late start due to idiots in Louisville celebrating St. Patrick's Day a wee bit early(a WEEK!). But finally Gimpy rolled around the parade and we got the presentation rolling. We started with the Golden Gnar Award. Everyone exhibited much gnar last year; Mofo's anything, my barrier ollie's, Paul's airs, Skidz 11' stalls and drops, but "Bring out the Gimp" as it was his rolling into the 9' deep end (multiple times, padless even) that took home the award. Well deserved Gimpy. Gnar trophy by Skidzilla.

The "I Got Big Cajones" Award

The reason for the award.

On to the video! What a blast! It started with a great "magic" trick by Steve-O, as we had little footage of him due to his heart attack last year. "Where'd the Noogle Go!?" will always start a party off right. I leave it to Skidzilla to post that lil' nugget to the Concretins YouTube locker. We watched the first half stretched to the full 18' screen width, making us all look like we weighed about 240lbs at about 3 1/2 feet tall. Hilarious! I've included a few portions of the vid at the bottom of this blog entry. Again, for those of you with dial up, this sucks. But those of you with broadband, I think you will enjoy. I'll toss out my kudos to iMovie and YouTube, as they make everything sooo easy. As soon as Skidzilla is sportin' the new iMac, he'll finish up the audio fixes and DVD authoring and we'll distribute the few limited number of copies. You'll just have to wait, or perhaps you should have been at the premier!! Our apologies to the PinkDoor patrons who snuck in early behind a 'Cretin, but still got service, but got blown out by the vid. Bar doesn't open 'til 5 peep! Hope we didn't scare 'em away permanently. Sorry Brian. But thanks for a killer venue for the party!

Video over, fun over? Hay-ell NO! But I must do my civic duty to protect the public. When a Concretin asks you to join them for an "Irish Car Bomb," say NO! You've been warned. Since no one warned my dumb ass, I joined in the stupidity. While I did not pay for it with an upchuckin' like Gimpy, after the 2nd one I certainly suffered with the barrooms sudden lack of gravity and solidity. Even sitting in a quiet corner lounge, knowing full well the floor was solid and couch wasn't moving, I had to hold on to keep from floating away. Thanks for taking care of me Alice, though the last of the 4 bombs was your fault. And I'm a lightweight. My boob still hurts from the 12 year olds (Skidmore brothers, ages 40 and 44) doin' the ole Titty Twister, on the same nip... seriously, I'm punchin' next time! We were all surprised by the appearance of Brinley! (He wants to be a 'Cretin, but he has a problem with the regulations that ya MUST go on a roadtrip, AND skate with us.) We also learned that the punk got engaged 3 weeks ago!! Congrats EB! But you still suck for not telling us. Probably won't get invited to the wedding either. Such is the life of a 'Cretin.

MommaSkidz thinks LilTony is "just adorable."

EB's gettin' hitched!!

The first step to drunkeness.

Already there.

I'm touchin' yer brain!

I'm 40. And not wearing pants.

(Yes he is.)

Gnar and old man pics.

So, the next morning, full of bitterness, but seriously dehydrated, I drug my happy ass to the park at 8:15 BEFORE everyone else, just to prove I could. It was cold, I was alone and suffering a major headache, but I was there dammit. I shuffled up the half pipe and crashed out on the deck until EB rolled in about 20 minutes later. Everyone else slowly rolled in around 9:30 as it started to warm up. Gimpy was last of course and wasn't ready to skate at all. He was still feelin' the bombs, amongst many other beverages. He even hurled again while at the park. It might just be me, but that's damn funny. Get well soon Juanito! Old Mark rolled in as well, lookin' as svelt as ever! He has lost 60lbs! And 40 of that were since I saw him last, so I almost didn't recognize him! Good job dude! We were all movin' pretty slow. Except OldManPaul. We had an OK session, but Paul was on fire! (Might have something to do with the fact that I think I saw him drink ONE beer last night.) He hit a 50-50 in the 9' and then decided to progress even further this morning. Frontside high speed double truck edgers were on his mind, and are now in his bag. They were so fast and looked scary as hell to me, though anything FS freaks me out. He made an otherwise obligatory "we're hungover but it's nice weather and we must skate" session into yet another full on and true skate experience.

"Hip Hop The Gnar don't Stop" - OMP in total control.

Happy 40th Birthday Skidzilla. (I still owe you a kick to the gnar for the bruised boob.) Congrats to EB on his engagement, and congrats on another year of ripping fellow 'Cretins. Looking forward to more killer sessions and roadtrips!
Dew Tour 2006 - Pro Gnar - Pics by Nik, video by Gimpy.

UCantSkeetNone - More Pro Gnar. A crazy deep end session about an hour after the DewTour contest. Video by Gimpy and Nik.

SoloTour #1 - Nikoli and Lil'Tony go to Tucson and Ft. Wayne - Pics by Nik, video by Alice.


  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    What a Party! That's gotta be in the Top 5 of most hammered nights of my life (another shining moment). If we had stayed any longer I probably would have been on top of the bar naked and squatting in the "Golden Gnar" pose. Sorry about the "carpet scare" Sharon. You guys did an awesome job putting that video together. I can't wait to see it again. My folks are gonna be so proud when I show them my trophy. Happy 40 Skidz!!

  • At 7:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Excellent party!
    Excellent day after SK8 session!
    ...Well, except for the Gimpster.
    He'll skate later!

    Awsome video guys! I can't wait for my personal copy!

    See you guys soon!

  • At 12:29 PM, Blogger NoShow said…

    Great party. Happy 40th again, Skidz. Glad to see all of you guys again!

    I can't wait to get a copy of the video. From what I've seen on the site it looks tight!

    Thanks for the congrats, too :)


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