CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Still riding after all these years...

13 years ago. That's how long it's been since I've been on a snowboard. Even back then, I had only ridden about 5 or 6 times. So when Mofo threw out the invite to borrow some gear and hit the slopes, I was the first one to jump in. And of course, EB was the first one to bail out completely (AS IF we really expected him to join us). So, Mofo and I headed out Wednesday afternoon... We even got an official welcome from the Orange County Police Department, he was pleasant, made sure we understood the speed limit, and sent us on our way, but asked that we slow it down a bit. (Almost a really expensive ski trip.)

We hooked up with Kyle's friend Paul, (no relation to OMP) who can really ride, but has severe ADD. (read: He's kerazee!) A bit irritating that he flew past us on the highway not 1 mile away from our welcome stop. Guess they weren't as glad to see him. He and his bud Alex also brought beer, so auto-cool points.

So we hit the slopes and Mofo gave me a few pointers. He was immediately cruising comfortably. The first 2 runs were a bit dodgy for me. Wrist guards were a damn good idea. Third run, I remembered/figured out that your hands gotta be out, and as soon as I "T'd" up my body, I was carving like an SOB. I'm BACK! I was so stoked. I couldn't believe how easily it came back. I never did hit any air, but I never did "back in the day" either. I'm strictly a carving machine on snow.

Mofo on the other hand, even though he hasn't ridden in 3 years, was on a mission. Constantly searching for a nice "roller" to launch from. I was a bit skeptical, I mean, I know he rips (you don't buy your own equipment-with spares, if ya can't ride), but it had been awhile right? I need not worry. We found a line with potential, and Mofo threatens a 360, but decides to test the waters with a tweaked out stylin' Stalefish! First try! Yep, I was reminded once again why we call him Mofo.

Snowboarding isn't like skateboarding. You can't "try" a trick, bail, get up and try again right away. You gotta get to the bottom of the hill, ride the lift for 5 minutes, get back to the line, dodge the lil' hacks, and THEN try again. (Or undo the bindings, HIKE back uphill 60 yards and try again, not fun.) All while it's 20 degrees.

Obviously he's stoked... "I can bust a 3 no problem." Ok. I'll watch. A bit over rotated, but he still didn't bail. Damn. If he wasn't such a cool person, my talent envy would require that I hate him. Next up, an IndyGrabStiffy (both legs straight as an arrow). And he finished up the launching with a perfect 360. Even saw a few 180s off the little bumps at the bottom. I found myself watching him a few times down the hill, when I really should have been watching my own line. Came close to eatin' it a couple of times. Dammit Mofo.

More Concretins MUST hit the slopes together sometime in the very near future. It is an absolute blast. With the right clothing, the cold won't even bother you(thanks again for the gear "rental" Mofo). Though at some point, I must have hit my head, or maybe it was just sooo cold, because I started hallucinating. I swear I saw a giant Twinkie on a snowboard.

Ow, my head... What the hell is THAT?

I told you Paul was kerazzeee!


  • At 9:30 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Right on! Cool to hear you guys made it out there. Sounds like Mofo's a ripper (go figure). Yeah, everyone needs to snowboard. Definitely one of the most fun things to do ever. Waking up tmw (Saturday) and heading to the airport to fly out to Utah for a week of heaven. Wish you all could come. Hopefully can hit the slopes with you all when I get back if there be any snow left.


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