CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Monday, August 14, 2006

Full moon = Full gnar

It has been a weird feeling week. And suddenly, I looked up in the sky one night and it all became clear why.

Dad is settling into that wonderful depression that is all too common among heart surgery patients. I just don't get it, I'd think anyone who survived that would be ecstatic to be alive. They say it will pass, but the drugs seem to do that to people. BUT, the really good news is that medically, he is doing wonderful! Everything went perfectly. Call him Porkchop - as he now has a swine heart valve. Thanks to all for their thoughts and prayers. Keep 'em coming though, he ain't home yet.

Then, apparently out of the blue, Skidzilla ripped up the Mofos ramp Friday night. Not that I haven't seen him rip (and I wasn't there) but when Jon AND Mofo say he was ON, then he had to be out of control! Saturday AM session was ok, but not memorable for me anyway. Lots of close calls and dodgeball once again. Apparently it was biker day and no one told us. Then Saturday night was chillin' with Skids clan and friends at a garage jam (even if it was kuntry). We even got THE question again! Not a board in sight and someone asked if we were "professional or something?" CONCRETINS RULE! PapaSkid has quite a guitar collection which has inspired me to join Mofo, 'Zilla, and John Cougar, and learn how to play guitar. And it was the first time ever that all 6 'Cretins were in the same place at the SAME time... the pic is forthcoming.

Sunday AM... we roll in to a relatively empty park... ahhhh... gotta love that. I had all the cam gear in tow, but it never left the confines of its baggage. When you're havin' a good session, you just don't sit down - for fear your gnar will disapate... Mofo showed up in FULL GEAR!? Aw damn, game on. I was diggin' my fastest ever speed lines, good airs, and even the occasional locked on 50-50. One of my better sessions for the year... HOWEVER, it was in the air 'cause EVERYONE was ON! And I mean O N !

Kyle was really workin' FS airs and kept those slides goin' on command. I think I even saw long 5-0s from the 6' to the 4', didn't I? (Along with about 20 other lip tricks.) Gimpy and OMP repeatedly piss me off because they hardly ever skate this park yet rip it like they ride it daily! Jon put on a pop-out-manual-on-the-deck clinic. And Paul couldn't keep his BS airs less than a foot above the coping, usually more.

All that and it was still Skidzilla's session... All that guitar playin' on Saturday musta gotta him some good Vitamin P because he was unstoppable. Standard lines in the flow, though a bit faster and smoother right from the start. Then over to the vert ramp to drop in. HUH!? Hell yes! Multiple times! No bails! I had insane gnar envy at this point, but still refused to pummel myself with skatelite even with Mofo's peer pressure. The face bounce I took 2 years ago still echoes in my head when I stand up top. "But we're not through yet!" SkidFo decides if he can do 11' of wood (insert PornoDave joke here), he can do 11' of 'crete - and proceeds to do that without consequence, multiple times. Like Skid and Mo, I skate regularly, I'm creative, but dammit, I can't play guitar... maybe THAT'S it. So I'll try that too.

But, I can't leave out the other serious accomplishments of the day though, Jon dropped in on the halfpipe, but also from the EXTENSION! THEN not wanting to waste that gnar, he ROLLS IN the 9' in the deep end! Hellooo, That's VERT! His cajones swelled so much that we asked him to put on larger pants, as man-cameltoe is grody. OMP found some left over Chris Miller gnar in the pipe and took it to 10:00+ comfortably. I was happy with about 9:15, my highest ever, but damn it'd be easier if they'd patch those holes! I also called "something new" during my run and started a perfect 50-50 stall in the 9', first try, but stepped off because of vaginal irritation. Tried 2 more times but the bails got scarier each time, so I thought I better quit. I capped off my session with a killer doubles run with OMP. It took 10 tries or so, 'cause I kept missing the 50-50, or I was in the way of his air - almost killed him, and me - but damn it was fun! We finally made the line, lead, carve under a 50-50, he leads, carve under his 50-50... PERFECT. (It looks way cooler than it sounds.) I only wish I had slapped his board while he 50-50'd as I did a frontside carve.

So the moral(s) of the weekend is(are)... be thankful for what you have... be glad you're alive... practice all month for the full moon full gnar sessions...

Oh, and "Forget all about that macho sh*t and learn how to play guitar."


  • At 5:32 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    Yet another epic weekend in Louisville/Corydon. Thanks for letting me crash your pads once again. After the session yesterday I went over to Axis and got some 8.5" indys (they're even straight) AND my next board (an 8.5" wide Grosso). After that I couldn't resist taking a ride over to Wicks to cap off the weekend by inhaling a 10" pie. I took quite a few daydream runs in the deepend while zoning at work today. Can't wait for the next trip down.


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