CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Can you make the cut?

What? Steve-O landed a heart attack? I didn't even know he rode a motorcycle, let alone knew what FMX and a heart attack was! We gotta get that on video! OH, wait, he HAD one! Holy Shit!

Alright... There are things you hope for when you go to see someone who has had a heart attack, there are certain things you expect. You hope they're ok, but you expect them to look like shit with bags under their eyes and like they've been smacked with a truck. But Concretins don't play dat.

We walk into to Steve-O's room, and he's smilin' and laughin' sittin' in the chair(sportin' a team shirt no less) and his wife is chillin' in the hospital bed... Perhaps I got misinformed... Nope. He's the "sufferer." And to hear him tell it, I bet his nurses suffered more than he did. Fan-fuggin-tastic! He had already been working on "better living" and I think this was just Chins way of sayin' hurry up a bit. So Leah got to take him home today - good luck Leah! Keep up the good work and welcome home SkidMark! Glad you're ok.

So on the way home from the infirmary, Alice and I stop at Rafferty's for dinner, 'cause we're feelin' good that our friend is ok. In his hearts honor I even order the "spinach tortilla wrapped chicken" thing and nothing fried - but accompanied by a Corona, of course. But we decided that the more friends we have, the probability of some tradgedy goes up exponentially. So we're makin' cuts people! If you will kindly forward your family medical history and skate related resume to, that'd be great. Bros Skids are grandfathered in with the recent cardio incident, and they're brothers. The rest of you, Get your stuff together. Get healthy and no stupid shit, 'cause I WILL slap a skate sticker on your coffin!


  • At 6:54 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    I know I can't "make the cut"!

    My health is pretty good. But I'm sure all the fatty foods & sugar I eat will be marks against me. My skate resume' isn't huge... I can't kickflip, my Ollie leaves a lot to be desired & all my airs are "early grabs". My non-skate life could lead to injuries. Karate', 4 wheeling & rock climbing are each a possible injury waiting to happen.

    OH, CRAP! I'm off the list!

    Maybe Nick will still pretend that we're friends... ;-)

  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Daredeveil and extreme activities don't exclude you from the list, bad health and stupid shit does... free climbing WOULD knock you off, because that's stupid. You're slash grinds and high speed keep you on the list, even if you're out of the age bracket...

  • At 5:17 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    "Age Bracket"

    My wheels are bigger than yours!

  • At 5:17 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    I just passed out today at work after giving up some blood for the blooddrive. Thought you may want to document that shit. Coming to was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. WOW.


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