CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Saturday, April 07, 2007

5th Anniversary Skate -Brrrrrrrrrrrr

I first hit the Extreme Park for the very 1st time 5 years ago, April 7, 2002. Skating there again today with Mofo (just like five years ago - only I didn't know him yet) brought a tear to my eye. Mostly cuz the wind was blowing at 10,0000 miles per hour (hyperbole)and the temperature was 27 degrees Fahrenheit (fact). I actually didn't realize the anniversary-ness of the date until I sat down to type this post. (My how I've grown. Last year I had to type a huge sobby diatribe about the park and The Concretins and how skating changed my life. This year I'm just gonna give a session update and rank on Kyle.)

A post on Old Man Army titled "BUTTLOAF Weather in KY" explained why Mangadezijr wasn't gonna make it to our beloved park this weekend - the weather looked awful from a Wednesday perspective. Certainly not worth a 5 1/2 drive from Detroit. Although the title was an April Fools prank (a day late) planted by one of the OMA Administrators to change certain expletives to ridiculous words; in this case shitty got turned into BUTTLOAF. Unfortunately, the weatherman was right: the weather did, in fact, resemble a loaf that your butt might produce. So, Mangadezijr, you didn't miss nothin'. Keep your pass for better weather!

Sometimes it sucks to skate with Mofo. For those who may not know, Kyle received this nickname cuz Nick was always calling him names in the pre-blog e-mails he sent out titled, "Weekend Update." Once Nick was out of town so I took it upon myself to send out the "Weekend Update," and explained that the reason Nick always cussed Kyle is because Kyle is a Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs. But, that quickly got shortened to Mofo; mainly because it sucks to type Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs over and over in a blog. Anyway I saw him skate 5 years ago and he was killing it. And he was killing it again today. It was nice to see him have to work his ass off to land an Ally-Oop. But, he got it. And I was stoked for him.

But here's what sucks to skate with him - minimal amount of positive reinforcement when landing something new. His self-reservedness just doesn't seem to allow it. So, when I shred a full speed FS 50-50 around most of the capsule at the end of the 4 foot we use as a mini, I think I got a audible 'yeah' out of him. Where's Nikoli when you need him? He's good for a shout out. Especially for anything Frontside and anything that grinds loud! Plus, as an added bones, it chaps his ass cuz his AOV (Adult Onset Vagina) flares hard just thinking about Frontsides.

So, for me the differences were immense: 5 years ago it was sunny, 75 degrees, blue skies, and I was scared to roll into the bunny/street area; today it was a bitterly cold 27, cloudy with flurries, the park was empty and I can grind Frontside. As for Kyle: not much has changed - he's still a Big Fat Mother Fucker that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs.

C U N 2 (weeks, that is)


  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    I thought you were just gonna dig on MoFo, punk. THANKS! Buttloaf head. Perhaps I'll be able to control my AOV when I'm 40 like you old man. But 5 more years is a long time to not do frontsides... What do you take for that? Penicillin? I definitely need a Gnar Supplement. And what did MoFo alleyoop? A grind? An air? Slider? Alleyoop is a direction of spin, could be applied to many different tricks... freakin' 40 year old grom. Can barely speak the language.

    Happy Anniversary Louisville 'Crete. We love thee.

  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger NoShow said…

    Buttloaf... it's funny.


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