CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Kyle Hublard Honorary Big fat MoFo Award Goes to...NICK!

Ever have one of those sessions that you are totally stoked for your fellow sk8r because he is having such a ripping nite, yet, at some point in the evening, there is something in the back of your mind that tells you that you should, in fact, choke the living shit out of the individual in question because the amount of shit he is landing seems completely unfair compared to your paltry bag of tricks? Well, welcome to Skidzilla Versus Nickatron at MoFo Mansion (Kyle's House) March 29, 2006.

Don't get me wrong - I got a lot to be thankful for and I had a solid session. I finally got my frontside stalls and grinds down with a respectable re-entry (instead the Duane Peters 'hang-up, lock -up, make it' method I have always employed on this trick in the past). My slams were minor, and St. Swinging Richard, The Patron Saint of Yer Twig -n- Berries, had a watchful eye and thwarted what could have been a very nasty smite to my jimmy (I felt turbulence - my board passed that close to me Lovelies). I also got a smoking Pivot and even a couple of Disasters with some decent air. But, Mr. Skidzilla, there will be no 5-0's for you this evening. No Sir.

But, Nick - OH NICK! The guy was on fire! Landing Half-Cabs like he's been doing them all his life. Tries a nose stall - lands it second try. So, then he hits a nose stall to revert like he was born to Nose Stall to Revert. He dialed in his Pivots to the point he was dizzy from doing so many in a row. Then Pulls a Nollie to Pivot on, like, his second try. Then he drops in switch. So, hats off to you and yer Big Fat MoFo Award, because tonite you were definitely the Big Fat Mofo That Makes Me Feel Like an Amateur.

Kyle on the other hand was on his home ramp. So that feeling I normally get around him at the sk8 parks (you know the one that earned him the title of Big Fat MoFo that Makes Us All Look Like Amateurs) is amplified to the point of calling him A Big Fat MoFo That Makes Me Wonder Why I Bother and I Think I'll Go Home Now You Bastard. I can't recall any of the tricks he pulled because they were all done so fast and in rapid succession that it was mostly a blur and I don't know the names of 'em any way cuz there's never a chance in hell I'll learn 'em, so piss off. I do recall Nick saying, "Doesn't it seem like we have to o like 5 set-up tricks before we attempt something moderately difficult?" Kyle just throws 'em all together and I continually resist the urge to ask him to sign my board.

When I grow up I wanna skate just like Nick and Kyle.



  • At 6:55 AM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Laughin' My Ass Off!! I KNEW I should have posted last night... And that is a messed up pic! Thanks for the props dude. Thanks for drivin'!

    I was too busy last night readin' the lame reviews of Louisville in Thrasher. Mike V is no longer on my cool pro list - he gets footy in Sessions & Roadtrips, but Louisville is a "waste of time." BITE ME. Of course I'm not gonna say that to him, 'cause that "would not be healthy." (Salema quoted)

  • At 7:02 AM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Oh, and I should clarify that "half cabs" were actually half cab rock fakies. I should also throw appreciation to Kyle, one for building and sharing such a kickass ramp, and two for teaching me how to do all of the new shtuff. His tricks included, BIG ollie to fakie(s), kickflip fakies, high speed grinds(pick one, he did it), and he capped off the evening with a bluntslide to 50-50. MoFo.

  • At 5:44 PM, Blogger OMP said…

    Sounds like an awsome session!

    Sorry I missed it!

    Oh, and as you can tell....
    The ID has been changed to OMP.
    Then again...Who really cares??



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