CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Saturday, September 16, 2006

I Rocked but I did not Roll

I'm out for a few weeks boys (broken elbow). So last Saturday after a killer morning session followed by another epic brunch at Toast, Eric and I say goodbye to Nick and head back to the park for another go. Eric managed to scrape a couple of very respectable grinds in the 8ft bowl and I was probably skating the best I ever have at the Louisville park due to all the time I have been able to spend down there (thanks to you all for putting me up). I somehow managed to eat shit on a seemingly harmless rock n roll on a 6ft section. When I hit I knew my right arm had gotten pretty worked and I told Eric that I was done for the day as I knew my arm could not take another impact. I watched him skate for a while until he was done and then headed home. Shifting gears was a lot of fun and a couple of times I felt a rather uncomfortable tightening/spasming sensation in my elbow. I kept thinking of the scene in the King of the Road video where Rattray dislocates his elbow. I got home and compared my elbows in the mirror and they looked significantly different enough for me to decide to drive to the ER to have it checked out. So after an 8 hour visit there (about 7.5 hours of waiting) I got to take home another splint, another shower cover for said splint, a bunch of paperwork which included another Vicodin prescription, the memory of an old lady puking her guts out a few feet away from me, and the news that I had successfully fractured another bone (radial head). The good news (besides the Vicodin RX of course) is that on my follow up visit to my ortho Dr. he told me it wasn't a major break, no cast, lose the splint, just use the sling and move my arm around so it doesn't stiffen up. 4 to 6 weeks healing time. All in all my adjustment to doing those "everyday living" things with mostly my left hand and arm hasn't been too bad. Although waxing "the champ" with my left took a little getting used to it's now working out real well and is shiny as ever. I can still type at work and I even made another chocolate peanut butter pie last night. Life sure is grand.


  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger Nikoli said…

    Dammit Jon! I guess we don't call you Gimpy for nuthin'. That sucks!! Enjoy the vicadin Holmes. At least with the elbow, we can wrap ya up in a brace and some duct tape and you can still skate, unlike the heel injury... A rock in the 6'? Come on. You bonk into 9' with a foot o' vert! Get well soon and may you find a woman to give you some serious sympathy waxin', so maybe the rest of us will be spared of shining stories.

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    I think a name change may be coming soon. I don't want to keep living up to that one.

  • At 7:39 PM, Blogger NoShow said…

    OH NO :O !!!!!!

    The park took a cheap shot at you, Jon. Shame on you, park!

  • At 8:25 PM, Blogger Skidzilla said…

    First off - Damn, Dude! I am bummed for you!

    Second - I always heard the hardest thing about losing loss of right arm is wiping your ass with the left. Please confirm or deny.

    Third - I thought Radial Head was when the chick was going at it from your side instead of between your legs.

    Fourth: ER Visits suck! No one ever seems to be in a hurry to help. I always wonder what is required to get some attention - perhaps internal organs hanging out of your body and squirting goo?

    I snapped my shoulder in Minneapolis and the ER staff was nice enough. When I told 'em I did it on a skateboard they said, "Oh, did one of your kids get a new skateboard? We see a lot of broken elbows that way." And, although it was never explicitly stated, it was clear by the indignancy of the staff they felt my injury could have easily been avoided, like, by no being on a skatebaord 'at my age'!

    Get well soon,Jaunito! I miss you already.

  • At 7:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is all to easy to skid out on rock-n-rolls, they're trickier than they look.

    Ya'll come see us in Franklin, TN soon. We have a world-class pool now.

  • At 5:39 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 5:47 PM, Blogger gimpinainteasy said…


    First off - Thanks for all the sympathy fellas (sniff).

    Second - The hard part about loss of right arm usage is not being able to skate for a while (followed closely by waxing and ass wiping).

    Third - A Radial Head fracture is confirmed to be an excellent way of drawing Radial Head sympathy.

    Fourth - Some people have suggested that I consider kicking my skating habit.


    They just don't know.


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