CRETIN: /kret'in/, /kree'tn/, n.
Congenital loser; an obnoxious person; someone who can't do anything right

CONCRETIN: /kahn'kret'in/, /kahn'kree'tn/, n.
Cretin who loves to skate concrete

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

What I did on my Summer vacation...

'Tis normally the title of your first assignment come September. So what the hell have you been doing? The one we call TheProfessor, Dr. J, or Hippy(though now sporting a buzz cut), our resident Vert Cretin, has been spending his Summer vacation as a community advocate… Stupervising the tear down, strengthening, and resheeting of the vert ramp at the Louisville Extreme Park. Why? Because he doesn't have a backyard in which to build his own damn ramp, that's why. And somehow, he's convinced a lot of skaters that rarely even venture on that side of fence to even sit in the shade of the vert ramp, let alone ride it, to help him do it. That's an educator with some influence. Skills for real.

The Cretin crew that officially adopted the park, The Professor, Skidzilla, and Junior, organized a very basic fund raising campaign (essentially a guilt ridden email) and raised about $3Gs. (Actually rather impressive.) And believe it or not, the city parks department kicked in an additional $2,500 and a couple of bodies to get the job done.

Some will say that I haven't done anything… and ya know what, I haven't really. I have no shame, I don't skate vert. It scares the bejeezus outta me and it hurts. "Pussy." Yea, yea, like I haven't heard that a thousand times. "Sticks an' stones Love." I spent a few hours on tear down, which is the really easy part, a little bit more time runnin' screws in the second underlayer, again easy, then seeing too many bodies standing around with a deficient drill to body ratio, I bugged out and painted over a buttload of graffiti. So I'm not a total dick. But then I did skate for almost an hour while everyone else worked. Sorry about that. (No I'm not.)

(Tangental Rant warning: Seriously, you talentless tagging douchebags need to stop putting your initials all over the place. Nobody gives a shit if you were there. -As if those douchebags are reading a blog.- Having a sharpie shoved up your ass by a 150 pound Cretin would be rather embarrassing. Well, ok, getting arrested for something that school girls do on their notebooks because said Cretin called the cops on you would be embarrassing. But given the opportunity, I absolutely WOULD shove that marker or spray can up your ass. /end rant)

Ramp work is a little over half way complete with only the Skatelite to be reapplied, replacing a few sheets, and then having new coping welded and set. So if you have a drill and a few hours to spare, hit the ramp. The Hippy is gonna give you hell if you don't, so give him a few hours would ya. Running screws in predrilled Skatelite is really easy.

Seriously, a huge THANKS to everyone who has helped so far. The Louisville Skate Scene kicks ass. Whether you skate vert or not, you have at least one friend who does, and when they do, you totally dig watchin'. You know you do.


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